Why is Andrex called Andrex?

Posted on 2002/08/28 24:52:23 (August 2002).

We need to get to the bottom of this.

Sitting in the bath the other day, I found myself staring at the packaging for the two new toilet rolls I'd earlier purchased from my local supermarket. It struck me that I had no idea why they'd chosen the name "Andrex", and, although this probably should have been staggeringly unimportant to me, I decided I wanted to find out. It doesn't make sense. It's not a surname is it? There's not going to be a Mr. Andrex somewhere is there? If so, I pity him, having the same name as a brand of toilet roll.

It's not a place either is it? I can't ever recall going on holiday to Andrex. I wondered if the puppy they use in all the advertising had some significance? Was the puppy called Rex? Are they saying the toilet roll is also suitable for Rex? What kind of marketing ploy is this? Madness! Do dogs really use toilet roll? I doubt it. It's odd in a sense that humans do use toilet roll though I guess, given that no other animals do. Did nature really make such a bad job of designing our defecatory apparatus that we need to help it along with cute puppy logo blazened paper?

Or is Andrex meant to read as a singular drex, with an inapproriately assigned article (An)? An drex? Like posh people say "an hoop"...? Hello, Mr. Fortesque, today I am visiting your fine emporium to negotiate the vending of an single drex...? Is the drex some kind of durex style abbreviation implying it lasts longer? Wasn't drex the bad guy in Moonraker? Drex sounds to me like a nasty hair condition - "Is that dandruff", "No, it's drex", "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.".

Is it derived from part of some mathematical definition of the use of toilet paper? When wiping one's arse, one can employ hand or x, where x is our high quality brand of toilet paper. Or is it short for "handy for your ex", and is chiefly marketed to mop up the tears of a previous partner you've dumped in a less than generous fashion?

I wonder if Kleenex can shed any light on the name? That is a product that makes you clean, extra clean in fact. So does Andrex make you extra Andr? Is that short for Andrew? Will prolonged use bring about a desire to change your name to Andrew? If only I worked at the stats office, I guess thats the sort of place that would have breakdowns on people's toilet roll purchasing habits, cross referenced with their first name. Do you think there'd be a correlation?

Maybe it's the result of a dyslexic marketing consultant and it's meant to be Dranex, or better still Drainex? But what does that mean? You'll require extra drainage to flush it? Is there a conspiracy going on betwen the toilet paper and plumbing industries?

It's probably a result of that insane fifties school of marketing, where marketing types decided real words just simply weren't good enough to extoll the virtues of their marvellous product. Alongside Kleenex, Daz, Ajax, Brillo pads, Rice Krispies, KitKat, and probably a hundred others. Was this a poor attempt to brighten the daily routine of repressed housewives? What did they think went throught these people's minds? Never mind that my life is an apalling drudgery of thankless chores, for an uncaring never present husband who is having an affair with his secretary, on the plus side, I've learnt a new word today - Puzoof - it's a radically different type of bin liner with lots of special feaures like blah blah blah... OH KILL ME NOW!

Ok. Good. Right, well if anyone has any idea what the point of this article is, please let me know. Cheers.

I think the imaginary names are much better than the 'use and purpose' ones. For example, you'd quite happily tell your flatmate that you were going to get some 'Andrex' rather than 'Paper-For-Wiping-Your-Rump' or 'Butthole-Towel' or 'Single-use-hand-protector'. Can you imagine if they continued that line of marketting? The female hosery 'Braziere' may turn into 'Keep-yer-boobs-up' or the classic 'Over-shoulder-boulder-holder'.

Perhaps Andrex is actually some sort of badly spelt acronym:

'Ave Nice Dry Round End: Xcellent!
A Nasty Dump Removed EXcellently

Any others?

Either way, Andrex is Andrex as sure as eggs is eggs. If it stopped being toilet paper and went onto being motorcycle lubricant, then the whole world would end. Brimstone raining down, the dead rising, cats and dogs living together: anarchy.

Posted by Rob Lang at 2002/08/28 15:12:36.

From a marketing point of view "A nasty dump" may be misleading. I'm sure it's equally capable of working with the whole gamut of excretia. Apparently, Kodak launched a disposable camera in the States and called it "The Weekender". Customers phoned their support line to ask if it was OK to use it during the week.

Posted by john at 2002/08/28 16:43:16.

Brings a whole new meaning to "something for the weekend".

Posted by rowanboy at 2002/08/30 15:37:19.

Some years ago I wrote the company, they still hav'nt answered

Posted by Sandy at 2002/10/13 21:00:06.

You searched for "Why is Andrex called Andrex?" in Google didn't you Sandy? Although that worried me a little I'm oddly pleased by it. I tried it myself just now. We're number one. Wahoo.

Posted by John at 2003/01/16 24:21:54.

I know why Andrex is called Andrex - my father was the inventor Mr Ronald Kent now 89. If you would like to know e-mail me

Posted by Helen Rocker at 2004/08/03 11:29:59.

I know why Andrex is called Andrex - my father was the inventor Mr Ronald Kent now 89. If you would like to know e-mail me

Posted by Helen Rocker at 2004/08/03 11:30:16.

very interseting... why is andrex called andrex? clue me in, and i don't know your email, so i can't email you. my last name surely is andrex... making me Ms. Andrex. all the same...

Posted by eryka andrex at 2005/07/22 18:01:12.

very interseting... why is andrex called andrex? clue me in, and i don't know your email, so i can't email you. my last name surely is andrex... making me Ms. Andrex. all the same...

Posted by eryka andrex at 2005/07/22 18:01:29.

My "Andrex" came from reworking the letters in AlEXaNDeR.
(www.andrex.ca)

Posted by Sandy at 2005/08/16 16:33:45.

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