Boring

Posted on 2003/09/22 11:58:56 (September 2003) by john.

A sign of getting old?

Life recently seems to have become tedious, dull, stale, insipid, drab, unexciting, wearisome, bromidic, uninteresting, banal, tiresome, humdrum and not to mention just downright boring.

Even reading the thesaurus isn't any fun any more.

I seem to have lost my enthusiasm for just about everything - my spark, my bit of joie de vivre, the little je ne sais quoi that makes life fun to live, my mojo, my spirit, the usual exhiliration, verve and (I don't actually know what this one means, but I'm going to stick it in nonetheless) avidity I would normally associate with being lucky enough to be alive all seem to have gone.

I am bloody bastard buggering bored.

I'm not expecting any sympathy, in fact I'm convinced if I get any response at all it'll be a string of criticisms about how I'm not trying hard enough and it's all my own fault. Well thanks in advance for those. I'm feeling better in advance just anticipating it.

Instead, I'd like to lay the blame squarely at the feet of other people, and the world in general. Modern society and social habits seem to be utterly geared against people being spontaneous and fun.

Let me air my first gripe. By mid-September I had two, yes two, social engagements arranged for November. Well over six weeks away. At least one of these was just a regular night out - not celebrating anything at all, so no reason to be tied to a particular date. This, as Queen Victoria once said, is downright fucking rediculous. I, as it happens have almost nothing planned between now and then. However, unfortunately these events are also including lots of irritating trendy young couples with annoyingly busy social calendars involving other irritating trendy young couples, probably in irritating, trendy and expensive locations. Like (read out loud in your most weasley annoying voice) "Oooh, we can't make that weekend, our friends Sophie and Alan have got this gorgeous little villa in Spain and they've invited us down", or "Oooh, sorry I can't go then, me and Julie are off paragliding in the Antartic", or "Oooh, we've got X and Y's wedding" (who incidentally they never speak to), and so on and bloody so on.

My second gripe is down to one of the most hateful phrases in the English language: "No sorry, it's fully booked.". I guess it relates to the above in a sense. The rest of the world seems quite happy to arrange their entire lives a year in advance, however I, clearly unusually, actually see some value of doing things on a whim. Perhaps this weekend I suddenly feel like going to one particular place, but I can't necessarily guarantee I'm going to be in the right mood for it in seven months time. I am apparently the only person left on the planet that craves spontaneity.

One particular area that I'm irritated by is listings magazines. Your Time Out type of thing. Every now and again, I pick one of these up and have a leaf through. Occasionally I'll come across a listing for a band or comedian I'd like to see, and now and again will phone up and try to get tickets. You can absolutely bloody guarantee they'll say they're fully booked. I will deal with the sheer irritation of it being fully booked in a minute, but first one particular area of annoyance is the actual people you talk to on the phone. Now look Mr or Mrs ticket line operator, just because you've already told a hundred people today that whatever it is you're (not) sellling tickets for is fully booked, it doesn't in any way mean that it should be obvious to me, and therefore allow you to act in a patronising and condescending fashion accordingly, as though I should have known already. Undoubtedly, these operators already have tickets themselves - these are issued by the ticket agencies to help make these operators extra smug and annoying. In fact, these ticket operators are almost certainly the same trendy young couples who have their social calendars booked between now and 2015. To you, I would like to issue the following statement. Piss off, and I hope you and Julie freeze to death on your rediculous paragliding holiday.

Now, to return to the wider source of irritation created by listings magazines. Let me ask you one question. Why are you advertising an event, a week (or less) before it happens, when you can guarantee all the tickets for it were sold out six months prior. Who is this information for? Is it for those trendy bloody couples to be reminded that they did have tickets? "Oooh, Katie, we might have to postpone meeting the Dalai Lama this Thursday, I forgot we'd got those tickets to that secret gig played by that band of the moment who we don't really like but just got tickets for through one of Daddie's friends at the record company so we could gloat to all of our chums at the tennis club and make ourselves even more unpopular than we already are."

It doesn't just stop at music and comedy gigs. Anything that requires any form of booking will not be available when I want to go to it. Seen a lovely secluded hotel somewhere, off the beaten track, that would make a really nice place to stay? Don't bother, it's already booked up. Want to get a flight to an interesting European city on a bit of a whim for a surprise romantic weekend away? Don't bother, it's already booked up (or what few tickets are left are prohibitively expensive and/or require you to take an extra four days off work to deal with the rediculously complex itinerary the flight plannner has dreamed up for you). Want to go on that train journey through all that lovely scenery in that remote part of the country which is characterised by the fact no-one ever goes there? Don't bother, it's already booked up. Want to visit that restaurant you read an article in a newspaper about fourteen years ago and you've been told by your friends is nice because it is always nice and quiet (in fact empty)? Don't bother, somehow or other it is still bloody well booked up when you want to go.

Kafka apparently said (although I've had a look through some of his writings and haven't found it) that there wasn't any point in trying to say anything new, because it had all been said already. As an extension of this I'd like to add: don't bother trying to do anything interesting, because it's already been booked by a horde of trendy young couples.

The third source of complaint I have is more of an observation really. I shall call this the Hawkins' Theory of Boredom. As babies and young children, we are fascinated by just about everything around us - because it is all new, and we can learn something from it. However, at the same time, our scope for intake is generally quite limited - we probably stay in the house most of the time, and most parents don't allow their one year old children to go on unaccompanied flights to Bolivia, for example. As our thirst for new things increases (given that we can no longer entertain ourselves for hours by stacking up and knocking down those progressively larger plastic cups), luckily our ability to experience new things also grows - as we get older we meet new people in school, we might get to go on holidays with our parents, and so on. By the time we're adults and leave home, we generally have a large degree of freedom, and with that comes a lot of opportunity to experience new things.

Unfortunately, it seems, although our appetite for new and interesting things continues growing unabated (at least for me it does, I'm not sure about some people though...), at some point the scope we have to experience them hits a roof, in fact, if anything it starts to go down hill. We can blame the usual cuplrits for this - the regular commitment of work or other responsibilities, rent, mortgage payments, bills, and so on.

The status we recognise as boredom, I think, can be technically defined as the situation where desire to do or experience new and/or interesting things exceeds the current provision of them. I feel like that's where I'm at now.

Perhaps I'm just maladjusted to being in the latter half of my twenties. Perhaps this is the time when I should start lowering my expectations, or even, shudder, I should start booking things in advance.

Both of those propositions sound very boring indeed though.

I sympathise with you really i do but if you cant be spontaneous for mainstream stuff (giggs) be original and spontaneous all at once. I dont think they've fully booked the open road yet, so for example you can invent yourself some sort of a game involving hitch hikers, and see some of the beautiful countryside at the same time, defaced only by the great big ugly gash of tarmac cutting through its heart.

Posted by Glennbo at 2003/09/22 17:36:37.

Thank you mysterious stranger - you know you're right. Part of my problem seems to have been depending on things that can get booked up in the first place. I used to do a lot more outdoor stuff, and generally thoroughly enjoyed it, but over the last few years its been very difficult to find anyone like minded to join in on my ill-planned "wacky" adventures.

Posted by John at 2003/09/22 18:28:49.

#sound of cogs clicking#
Now I know why you were banging on about going on a last minute trip to Inverness on a sleeper train.
The *wonders* of Hindsight.. Ahhhhh.

Posted by Kev at 2003/09/22 19:04:03.

Guess what - that was fully booked.

Posted by John at 2003/09/22 19:05:01.

DOH!

Posted by Kev at 2003/09/22 19:27:56.

I too am a tad bored at the moment. However, I have a plan. I shall to travel to London this weekend, where I intend to pelt David Blane with eggs and tomatoes.

Posted by Jimmy at 2003/09/23 08:34:41.

Do you want to fit in a trip to my new favourite pub as well (will have to be a Saturday in that case, it's closed on Sundays I think)...?

Posted by John at 2003/09/23 10:21:13.

HERE YE! HEERE YE!
But on the other hand it was only through bordom that I found this website.

Posted by Simon at 2003/09/23 10:43:02.

How was that then...? Surely this article didn't show up in Google already...?

Posted by John at 2003/09/23 10:50:21.

John, if you're suggesting that we meet up at Henekey's for a pint, then I have to say I'm tempted. I'll have to clear it with the boss of course. Do you fancy pelting Mr. Blane with fruit too?

Posted by Jimmy at 2003/09/23 13:03:42.

Hmm, sounds like prior arrangment is involved. not particularily spontaneous eh? Irony is great. ( or I am being ironic ? )

Posted by Kev at 2003/09/23 13:25:26.

Spontaneity takes a great deal of forethought, and careful planning.

Posted by Jimmy at 2003/09/23 13:38:57.

No, it's not a hugely spontaneous idea but it might be fun nonetheless. Kev - why don't you come along as well? I'm not too sure about this fruit throwing business though - I've heard the security people down there are a bit tasty (as in, agressive, not covered in honey or anything like that).

Posted by John at 2003/09/23 14:49:45.

Would you like to come over and get trolleyed? I think we have a free weekend in February. ;-)

Posted by tom at 2003/09/23 16:59:04.

No, I can't do anything in February, I'm spending the whole month sailing round New Zealand in Arthur and Deliah's yacht.

Posted by John at 2003/09/23 17:20:47.

So you're going to sit there and complain about it? Get up off your arse and do something about it! Boredom is self imposed. You don't need money to not be bored, you just need effort.

No one is going to perturb your life but you. Unless you want me to do it. If you want me to perturb your life, get ready for a mad ride.

Posted by Rob Lang at 2003/09/24 18:29:44.

I'd planned for this eventuality. Let me refer you to the paragraph:
I'm not expecting any sympathy, in fact I'm convinced if I get any response at all it'll be a string of criticisms about how I'm not trying hard enough and it's all my own fault.

Posted by John at 2003/09/25 08:36:00.

I know what you mean, I like totally feel like that right now. I used to like Anime and video games, now I just sleep all day and live my days like a dream. The only thing that I can say, is to try Thai food.

Posted by Baba at 2003/09/26 20:34:55.

1) Bin yer missus.
2) Find friends who are...
a Not after a missus.
b Not after yer ass.
c Not skint.
3) Be spontaneous.

Posted by Karl at 2003/09/30 13:41:50.

The last time I did something spontaneous I had to lash out 100 quid on a new sofa arm and the jam stain still hasn't come out of the carpet. So, be bored...be rich...be clean.

Posted by Mike at 2003/10/03 13:44:54.

If this is the event I think you're referring to, I got off lightly then - just some incredibly painful cracked ribs.

Posted by John at 2003/10/07 22:42:47.

What are you on? At times I can totally agree with you. BUT you can't be that bored....youv'e written enough! Perhaps a job in the news room of the BBC would be perfect for you? Your passage is far more interesting than the rubbish they deliver...So go to it ...chappy....You'll liven them up.

Posted by Mogs at 2004/02/15 18:49:59.

What are you on? At times I can totally agree with you. BUT you can't be that bored....youv'e written enough! Perhaps a job in the news room of the BBC would be perfect for you? Your passage is far more interesting than the rubbish they deliver...So go to it ...chappy....You'll liven them up.

Posted by Mogs at 2004/02/15 18:50:23.

You see I'm not bored ...I've posted my replys twice! What an interesting hobby....annoy all the web masters!! HA!

Posted by Mogs at 2004/02/15 18:55:41.

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