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DentistsPosted on 2004/01/13 09:07:39 (January 2004) by john. See, you're shaking already.
Mixed in amongst the controls, there's a few pretty scary words in there, but I'm guessing for the average person the worst of the lot is going to be dentist. Personally, I've been very concerned about the state of my teeth recently. I've started brushing obsessively (on occasion 4 times a day), and am beginning to consider, for the first time in 8 or 9 years, I perhaps ought to go and see a dentist. And yet every time I do so, something holds me back from actually going and signing up and making an appointment. It isn't a convenience issue. There is a dentist approcimately 3 minutes walk from where I live and work. It might be slightly to do with laziness, this being put on the pile of the other 15 jobs I know I need to get sorted out at some point, but are too easily put off until next week. Money isn't really an issue, OK I object to the fact that there are almost no NHS dentists left in the country (although this is a whole other rant) but I'm reasonably well off at the moment, comparatively, and I'm sure I can afford it. No, the main reason I don't go is simply that I don't like dentists. In fact, I'm not ashamed to admit I'm actually afraid to go to the dentists. For me, it's not so much a fear of pain, OK, I'm no superman and dental treatment can be pretty unpleasant, but that isn't the main issue. It's a fear of being patronised. It's a little known fact, but the last year of training to be a dentist is actually entirely consumed with how to belittle and ridicule your patients. It's true. They do a whole term on baffling, variable and contradictory advice on how people aren't cleaning their teeth properly. They learn the technique of asking how long someone spends cleaning their teeth, and then shaking their head, exhaling, and replying with a figure 50% higher than that. Try it, one day tell your dentist you spend four and a half hours each morning cleaning your teeth, and they'll tut-tut a bit, and tell you you really ought to be spending six hours fifteen minutes. Then there's fillings. I personally am fortunate enough to have none, partly as a result of having strongly objected to the idea as a child. But in what way could this ever have been a good plan? You take a tooth, drill the middle out of it, and then fill it with metal. I really can't see any sense in this at all. I guess this partly factors into my fear of going to the dentists. Perhaps if I went now, my life long record of having no fillings might be broken. Although, having said that I would guess as an adult you can just say no. But then imagine the stream of tut-tutting, inhalling and "wellllll....." that would incur. If I go to the hairdressers, I'm treated with respect because I'm a customer. The hairdresser doesn't tell me I'm not combing my hair properly. If I go to a health spa, I'm probably equally treated with respect and even lavished with pampering, because I've paid for it, and I'm a customer. When I went to hospital a couple of years back to have my ingrowing toenails sorted out, the staff were absolutely lovely to me. They were so nice I wanted to fake a burst appendix so I could stay a bit longer. This was on the NHS, I'd paid nothing for it (Ok, national insurance, but you know what I mean). Why is it dentists cannot understand this simple principle? Treat your patients with respect, don't patronise them, and they might actually choose to come back when they turn 18 and have to start paying for it. Comment 1 You have obviously had the bad luck to have had contact with some bad dentists. The ones I have encountered are fine. In fact, I had my teeth checked here in Hungary, the woman was friendly and spoke good English. She did recommend that I use an electric toothbrush to clean my wisdom teeth, because they are very far back and difficult to clean properly, but not in a patronising way. In fact I am grateful for the advice because it could save me having to have them out later. I would have your teeth checked or you might regret it later, and anyway it will stop you worrying. Personally, the word 'Clowns' would send my heart rate soaring *shudder* Posted by Simon W at 2004/01/13 19:40:23. Comment 2Hmmm sorry a bit weirdly worded...apparently my wisdom teeth are far back but not in a patronising way.....hmmm...a weird concept! Posted by Simon W at 2004/01/13 19:41:56. Comment 3Don't try and fill me with your filthy lies, Watson. Are you secretly a member of the BDA? Posted by John at 2004/01/14 10:11:23. Comment 4I like dentists because I fear them. Like badgers. Posted by Rob Lang at 2004/01/14 14:33:35. Comment 5No, do not like badgers. Like rabbits instead. Posted by Jimmy at 2004/01/14 15:23:47. Comment 6For some reason I find Jimmy's comment really spectacularly amusing. Posted by John at 2004/01/14 16:00:51. Comment 7Anything but the clowns! Posted by Simon W at 2004/01/14 17:26:10. Comment 8I was at the dentists for an hour and a half today. Having more Root Treatment.... and repairing a tooth that's broken *since* being root treated. I didn't hurt at all... why is it that you have to keep telling youself to relax though??? Posted by tom at 2004/01/16 18:26:02. Comment 9I just re-read you list. I fear Tax Inspectors more. Posted by tom at 2004/01/16 18:26:35. Comment 10... and nobody seems to have mentioned castration. Is that *really* less fearsome than the others? Even Anne Robinson?! Posted by Jimmy at 2004/01/19 08:37:23. Comment 11I added castration in order to construct a balanced experiment. I.e., it is something surgical where the procedure is probably going to be pretty painful, and you're not likely to appreciate the end result. A bit the dentist... or Anne Robinson... or Tax inspectors.... or Burton on Trent for that matter. Posted by John at 2004/01/19 09:21:14. Comment 12I think I have an automatic block for 'Castration'. It doens't really go in to my mind, just straight to /dev/null. *Hmmpfh*. Clowns, however, don't have this initial block..at the first initial thought they seem like harmless kids entertainers so that lets me get to start thinking about them, and sometimes, heaven forbid leading to remembering the existance of Ronald McDonald. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!! Nooooo! Posted by Simon W at 2004/01/19 10:04:35. Comment 13What about the child-catcher? He was scary. Sweeties! Ice-creams! All free today! Posted by Jimmy at 2004/01/20 08:26:42. Comment 14Is that in shitty-shitty-wank-wank? Posted by John at 2004/01/20 09:11:18. Comment 15Or course. Posted by Jimmy at 2004/01/20 17:08:48. Comment 16Personally, I think that if you only go to a dentist once every 8 or 9 years its no wonder they give you an earful. If you go every year they won't have so much to complain about as your teeth will be in better nick. Still, its your gob. If you want falsies by the time you're 50 just carry on as you are. Posted by Alex at 2004/01/21 13:05:12. Comment 17I know you're all mates here - but I hope you don't mind an "outsider" putting in two-penny-worth...(?) I was once so incensed by the fact that I couldn't find an NHS dentist in the town I'd moved to, I went on a local-radio chat show (via the phone etc) which coincidentally happened to be on pretty close to the event. I think my point of view was I had nothing really against dentists per se, just the fact that the NHS was making it unviable for them to own Porches, go to casinos and bet on horses for a hobbies. Anyone who spent a working day gazing in to the nations mouths must either be a hero/heroine or slightly off their chump. A reply from the panel came there none! Posted by Nigel at 2004/01/22 22:04:30. Comment 18Good comment, Nigel and welcome. We like interlopers - they are just friends we don't know well enough yet! Posted by Rob Lang at 2004/01/23 09:13:38. Comment 19Yes, good work Nigel, whoever you are. Posted by John at 2004/01/23 09:54:29. Comment 20Thanks chaps. Nice to be made welcome! Posted by Nigel at 2004/01/23 10:10:33. Comment 21Whilst having your coffee, see if you can find a beret and a packet of Gitanes (or maybe Gauloises)... Then you'll find a conversation about Jean-Paul Sartre and maybe even Simone de Beauvoir will flow much more easily. Don't forget to include some damming comments about Nietzer*. Posted by John at 2004/01/23 10:25:13. Comment 22Well I've had some coffee now but the day doesn't seem any less daunting... Posted by Nigel at 2004/01/23 10:56:33. Comment 23I always thought Aristotle had an alcohol problem! Posted by Rob Lang at 2004/01/23 11:30:42. Comment 24It's Nietzsche, Mr. Hendy ... but don't start on *that* topic of conversation, or you'll end up with a live organ transplant. Posted by Jimmy at 2004/01/23 13:01:29. Comment 25I've had worse. Posted by Rob Lang at 2004/01/23 14:24:25. Comment 26I think my dentist is fab actually. After I smacked all my teeth out on a hotel bath she managed to make me a new set out of sticky back plastic and play doh. Posted by Alex at 2004/01/23 14:28:48. Comment 27Hotel bath? Hotel bar more likely. Posted by tom at 2004/01/23 17:26:55. Comment 28Cheeky bugger Posted by Alex at 2004/01/26 11:09:40. Comment 29Cheeky / funny bugger. OI! Rowan, that's my sister you're taking the piss out of! I'd like you to know that it is MY job to take the piss out of Alex. Posted by Rob Lang at 2004/01/27 16:12:45. Comment 30If you think you've had it bad, then take a look at these complaints about "celebrity dentist" larry rosenthal at baddentist.com! Posted by dentist at 2004/03/11 19:49:14. Comment 31If you think you've had it bad, then take a look at these complaints about "celebrity dentist" larry rosenthal at baddentist.com! Posted by dentist at 2004/03/11 19:51:14. | Post a comment |