Why would anyone want Raj's children when they could clearly have AndyG's. I am his personal nurse at the sperm collections clinic and I happen to know we have 17 full fridges, any takers please apply here.
Matron <Porn.mags@spermbank.com>
reception, - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 14:11:13 (GMT)

I already have 6 children of Raj's parentage, you can have some of them.
Vanessa Felps <V-Felps@tv.com>
The cake shop, Chiswick - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 14:10:30 (GMT)

Muahahahahahahaha
Experiment <hjlafhalfhalkh>
jfka, fdksf - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 14:07:42 (GMT)

I want Raj's children. NOW.
Derekina Yates <D-Yates@hotmail.com>
Main Library, Canterbury - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 14:01:48 (GMT)

I am sorry guys but I am the only one who's got a real 21incher, so Mr. Grfam I am to ask you to give us proof of your allegations, mums don't count of course :)
John Holmes <J.Holmes@bigfoot.com>
Errr.. Dead?, Errrr..Dunno - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 14:00:54 (GMT)

Dear Andy's female and male relations, living and ded, please stop shagging Trigger the horse on me, because you are both heavy fat bastards. When you two are shagging, it it so heavy for me, and i am afraid i might collapse
Rag and Bone Man's Cart <Cart@Rag'n'Bone.com>
behind the horse, under the driver - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 13:57:51 (GMT)

I am here so is andy's nan and she is crap his dead mouldy dad is much better bye eck
Dr. Sneaky Peek <t_hastings@kropotkin.com>
B'pool, Up North - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 13:49:13 (GMT)

Hey! Don't dis andyG's mum she's the best thing that's happened to horses since they closed the glue factory...
Neddy <pony@rag.and.boneman.com>
Post-coital, - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 13:46:16 (GMT)

Leave my son alone. Ever since his mouldy dad passed away he has been the only source of fun in my life. Well that and the pony the rag and bone man has.
Andy's Mum <whore_tied_to_her_son's_bed@smelly-slapper.com>
Andy's Bed, The pillow end - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 13:36:34 (GMT)

Tim- email me or Tom or someone and tell us where you are!!!
John <john.hawkins@reading.ac.uk>
(insert your own funny place), (insert your own funny area) - Friday, October 30, 1998 at 12:11:21 (GMT)

Ooh... How brave of you "Michael bolton" to take the piss anonymously... I laugh at your cowardlyness and fart in your general direction
AndyG
- Friday, October 30, 1998 at 11:35:18 (GMT)

Perhaps the only reason you have no complaints Mr.G is that you mum is too polite.
Micheal Bolton <long/short-hair@laughingatAndy's.sex-life.>
In a jaccuzzi, - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 20:24:16 (GMT)

Mr Andrew Grafham, your secret double life as evil alice has now been uncovered
spy3 <spy3@nsa.gov>
area51, nevada - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 20:14:45 (GMT)

Angus McHaggis <angus@haggis.demon.co.uk>
Scotland, Highlands - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 17:45:03 (GMT)

We make a revolutionary brand of parrot food that reduces the chance of feather loss, but has certain entertaining side effects when fed to humans. Anyway, thats irrelevant. Hello mum.
Fred Wilkes <fred.wilkes@eukanuba.co.uk>
Eukanuba Headquarters, Cholsley - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 17:27:21 (GMT)

IT WOULD APPEAR that comments regarding AndyG's 9th Leg are wildly understated. I happen to know that the

21 INCHES

FUCK OFF EVIL ALICE
Some of us DO have... :-)
Golden Boy <rowan_tom@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 17:20:16 (GMT)

I really don't know... All i did was tell everyone about my brand spanking new and exciting monitor and everyone starts having a go at me, calling me an arse and telling me I have a small penis. (PS I never had any complaints ;-) )
Graf <Graf@bewildered.com>
- Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 17:04:23 (GMT)

Hastings - where are you now?!
Mr. Sheen <mr.sheen@spam.com>
Cleaning the living room, - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 16:59:13 (GMT)

What did Graf do then? Apart from being threatened with the sack, that is...
Golden Boy <rowan_tom@hotmail.com>
Working, (NOT) - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 16:58:02 (GMT)

You lot really need girlfriends.
Evil Alice <Alice@broomstick.com>
- Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 16:57:41 (GMT)

TO J R Hartley: too late mate, I already wrote '101 ways to make an arse of yourself', and it's popular sequels '101 more ways to make and arse of yourself', '101 ways to make a complete arse of yourself', as well as the self help guide 'What to do when you wake up one morning and realise you are a complete tit'
AndyG
- Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 15:15:05 (GMT)

21 Inches? Did you miss out a decimal point? I am certain our records showed you to be 2.1 Incher.
Janice Clark <Janice@Petite.penises.r.us>
- Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 14:49:54 (GMT)

gibby gib gib gibbo gibs gibs gibs gib
Gibbo the First <Gibs@Pile-O-Gibs.com>
small intestine, guts - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 14:11:46 (GMT)

I am a famous antipodean author researching my new book '101 ways to make an arse of yourself' Could Graf please put forward some data for the 99 ways. Much appreciated.
J R Hartley <J.R.Hartley@Searching.yellowpages.uk>
Fly Fishing, - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 14:01:34 (GMT)

Hey everybody, I've got a 21 incher.
AndyG
Looking at the lovely new monitor, on my desk - Thursday, October 29, 1998 at 13:55:51 (GMT)

Sorry about Spy No. 2.
Spy No. 1 <spyno1@somewhere.com>
My room, y arse - Tuesday, October 27, 1998 at 20:07:51 (GMT)

Is anyone my friend and has a webpage that isn't linked to on my friends page?? If so, tell me now so it looks like I know more people or something.
John <john.hawkins@reading.ac.uk>
Inside Murray Head's Violin Case, Chiswick - Tuesday, October 27, 1998 at 17:25:11 (GMT)

I am no where


Logic trap...........................
unable to resolve conflict at address 0x.............
unable to resolve address at 0x............
no address...................
no address...................
no telephone number..........
no postcode..................
no location..................
reboot.......................
c:/config.sys........ not found..........
c:/autoexec.bat...... not found..........
c:/backup.ai......... found..............
initiating startup.......................
.........................................

Backup Artificial Intelligence Boot V2.13
source.............. Brown (H.P.)
Boot................ D. M.
Author.............. J. Edgar Hoover
Current Location.... no where.
Finding "no where".. not found
Existence........... not saying
Version............. Adversion: To wasps.
Memory.............. "Cats" Andrew Lloyd Weber
Time................ No sorry got to pick up a mate
Time Please......... Yeah wait a minute
Time Gentlemen...... C ya
Date................ No it's a prune

Memory curruption... It's that Hawkins boy again. He won't stop messing with bloody computers will he, I nag and nag and nag but he doesn't bloody listen the ignorant little perverted peice of stale rectum.
Spy no 2. <Ahem@no.where.org>
no where, Get the hint. - Monday, October 26, 1998 at 20:00:05 (GMT)

He's on the jazz man,Hannibals on the jazz
Bad Attitude Barracus <ba@ateam.org>
In a locked storage shed with only a blowtorch for comfort, just right of the middlew - Monday, October 26, 1998 at 19:34:44 (GMT)

Shut up fool
Bad Attitude Barracus <ba@ateam.org>
Drivers Seat, The Van - Monday, October 26, 1998 at 19:31:54 (GMT)

Hmmmmmm...............
Jonathan Ellis <amazinglyfictitous@flymo.globalnet.co.uk>
My Computer, My Bedroom - Monday, October 26, 1998 at 19:29:16 (GMT)

If you are reading this, then you are GAY !!!!!!
The Gay Typist <gay_bloke@gay.com>
Up your bum, Uranus - Friday, October 23, 1998 at 12:48:41 (BST)

I would have gotten away with it , if it wasn't for them damn kids !!!!!!
Mr Whithers <creepy_old_man@fun_fair.com>
Jail, US - Friday, October 23, 1998 at 12:47:23 (BST)

Andy G was late for work again and is going to get da sack

Only this time its true....
Big Boss <>
- Friday, October 23, 1998 at 11:34:36 (BST)

Q: Who is the most popular bloke on a nudist beach? A: The guy who can carry two large coffees and 12 donuts

Q: Who is the most popular woman on a nudist beach? A: She who can eat the last two donuts
The Joke King
not USA - Wednesday, October 21, 1998 at 12:49:18 (BST)

Ooo that makes me MAD - Damn Pesky Virus just erased my ass back to the stone age.
Wierd creepo guy
In a field, Near LA - Friday, October 16, 1998 at 12:08:02 (BST)

Damned virus. (SHIT - I just read it again) Back to the drawing board!
Mr. Angry <angry.man@rebuilding.computer.com>
Rebuilding my PC after reading last message!, - Friday, October 16, 1998 at 11:38:18 (BST)

DO NOT READ THIS MESSAGE! It will erase everything on your hard drive. This is a new, very malicious virus - the information was announced yesterday morning from Microsoft. Please share it will everyone that might access the internet. Pass this message along to everyone in your address book.
CIAC <viruse@home.com>
- Thursday, October 15, 1998 at 13:13:06 (BST)

Are we going out tonight or what?
Goldenboy
- Wednesday, October 14, 1998 at 17:18:22 (BST)

Hey Andy, I got a phonecall from some bloke this morning... assume it was somone from work, hope its all OK ...
John <john.hawkins@rdg.ac.uk>
sutf20, - Wednesday, October 14, 1998 at 12:08:33 (BST)

Andy G was late for work again and is going to get da sack
Big Boss <da-boss@andys-work,com>
Office, Wokingham - Wednesday, October 14, 1998 at 11:32:42 (BST)

Censorship is better (being pedantic is better still)
andy g
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 17:27:32 (BST)

Sensorship rules!
Goldenboy
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 16:41:51 (BST)

Sorry Tom, all fixed now, no hard feeelings??
John
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 16:39:39 (BST)

Oh Sod off!
Goldenboy
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 16:17:20 (BST)

In the practical I was supervising today, they had to run a text editor, type something and save it. One of the first years wrote:
I dislike this keyboard with intensity.
Nice.
John <john.hawkins@rdg.ac.uk>
Sutf10, see below - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 16:13:54 (BST)

(This message has been banned)
The editor. <john.hawkins@rdg.ac.uk>
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 16:00:37 (BST)

So then Tom, is this a new girlie, a new girlie or a new girlie wink wink nudge nudge.
John
sutf10, controversially, its NOT in computer services - its in computer science (GASP!) - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 15:57:22 (BST)

WOOHOO!
Goldenboy
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 14:35:25 (BST)

Can I just say that this is the first time I've appeared in a guestbook.
No, I'm sorry we don't have time (ed).
DSP <thastings@blackpoolsixth.net.uk>
602, BSFC - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 14:35:22 (BST)

This new girlie appears to have impaired GoldenBoy's typing accuracy. It must be love.
Andy-G: Its good to see old-school nerdiness, I miss it.
DSP
Room 602 - Computing Staff, Blackpool Sixth Form College - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 14:29:31 (BST)

Is that a supportive compiler error then Andy?
Perhaps you might meet her again soon?
GoldenBoy <tom.rowan@allasso.com>
- Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 14:26:23 (BST)

name=sarah -> invalid instruction name should be in format Rachel_n (oh dear... been talking to c compilers for too long... i keep dreaming in c++)
Andy G <andrew.grafham@accurate.co.uk>
where i am all day every (week) day, - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 13:15:32 (BST)

I have a new girl.. though I'm taking it REAL slow this time!! Name = Sarah. NIC BA!
GoldenBoy <tom.rowan@life_getting_together_at_last.com>
ABout ten miles high, (vut actually at my desk) - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 12:42:58 (BST)

Techie reason for no email -- limited gateway service. If all the students start browsing during the day. This eats the total of 25 connections and the mailserver's is relinquished. Hence an outside connection to our server will be refused. Crap eh? Non-techie reason for no email -- nerdy spodders. Nuf said.
DSP (Serious Head On)
Comp Staff Office, Comp Area - Tuesday, October 13, 1998 at 10:04:29 (BST)

Why can I never get a mail through to Tim??
John
- Monday, October 12, 1998 at 16:50:52 (BST)

Why can I never get a mail through to Tim??
John
- Monday, October 12, 1998 at 16:50:52 (BST)

Nice one G-ster on the late leaving for work, heard you go out and was mightily impressed. As for the churlish remarks from golden boy she is just a friend etc.
p.s. Andrew Barras drinks tip tops at the school disco
p.p.s. Not wanting to let a joke go undermilked, here is another picture of a fish this one is a Jolthead Porgy

John
Uni, Reading - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 16:30:53 (BST)

Hey man, why U dissin' the witch? She's, like, a real cool chick. I dig the way she smokes them cigars.
Nice BA!
Mr Big <mr.big@gangster.com>
Drug store, (by the cocaine shelf) - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 15:09:32 (BST)

According to an anonymous source (who lives with her and shares the same first initial) Laura does indeed smell, although not of poo. I can't remember exactly what she allegedly smells of, but I believe the word "rancid" was involved somewhere along the line.
Andy G again
- Monday, October 12, 1998 at 14:55:38 (BST)

Witches smell of POO!
Golden Boy <tired.out@longdrive.com>
In the pub, (well, just left it) - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 14:36:46 (BST)

I guess I'm still going to the witches house tonight... It's free food, after all, although the eye of newt pie may not be too appealing. I overslept this morning and didn't get to work until 10:30 by the way. I don't know why i told you that, but anyway. Here's a picture of a fish.
Andy G <oh.my.god@i.am.so.hungover.com>
my desk, eating flapjack, Wokingham - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 13:20:30 (BST)

Andy G - are you going to visit the witch tonight? I suggest that you slack it off! John H - Did you pull that bird last night? DSP - Doppler shift is due to the busy nature of the M6
Golden Boy <golden.boy@bsc(hons).ac.uk>
At work (as per usual), Sitting in the loo (NOT) - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 12:13:43 (BST)

New Knowledge... I never knew that the Dopler Effect applied to web-pages. Imagine my surprise - when view this collection of pages from a moderate distance (i.e. from Blackpool) they have shifted towards the blue end of the light spectrum. Its OK though, using an improvised view-scopic device made from a modified tea-bag with added colour-filters (Quality Street wrappers) I have corrected this tint.
Mr Hastings <thastings@blackpoolsixth.net.uk>
Staff Room, College - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 09:06:53 (BST)

"So Mr. Bond you found my missiles", said Alastair, "Aha!" said Lox
Lox <stalflare@hotmail.com>
Nooooooooooo, Sigh! - Saturday, October 10, 1998 at 15:44:56 (BST)

Blimey John your message board has only been here 3 days and its already got 3 times as many messages on it as Matts, weird huh?
Jennifer Steele <n/a>
Dorking, Kent - Friday, October 09, 1998 at 13:13:59 (BST)

Damn, Rowan boy beat me to it again
Graf <Andrew.Grafham@accurate.co.uk>
At work too and earning less than golden boy, - Friday, October 09, 1998 at 13:08:09 (BST)

I wouldn't have minded if it wasn't for the sheer amount of blancmange which landed on my head at that moment.
Richard Madely <Richard.Madely@up.your.own.bum.com>
up my own bum, rectal - Friday, October 09, 1998 at 13:05:31 (BST)

Well done John, another stunning message board for me to ruin!!
Mister Rowan <tom.rowan@allasso.com>
At work - DOH!, At my desk. - Friday, October 09, 1998 at 11:31:48 (BST)

Just thought I'd pop by to say what a fantastic page you have. Absolutely splendid. I thought I might just put a gratuitous link like this