Ah-hem! Nerdy, obviously (as in 8-bits to a byte, serial comms etc...) Double-entendres? Just because I freely admit to enjoying the odd "Carry On..." movie! :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Sun Feb 29 23:15:00 2004

Not quite sure if that was nerdy humour or a double entendre there to be honest Nigel...
John
- Sun Feb 29 12:49:31 2004

I can relate to that... One Bit at a time! Ho-ho!
Nigel
The Wild West, - Sat Feb 28 19:46:53 2004

Homer only has space for one item though....
tom
- Sat Feb 28 08:08:26 2004

So true. I still remember my first bank account no... Ah those were the days... Balance 49p... However a colleague left a mouse mat here (his only useful bequest). It's the Homer Simpson one - "...when I learn new stuff it pushes old stuff out ..."! (exact wording changed to preserve copyright!)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 27 17:00:31 2004

What I find possibly more irritating is the inability of the human brain to expel phone numbers you no longer require. As an example, my grandmother moved house last week, but I still have the old phone number hard coded into my cerebellum. This seems wasteful.
John
- Fri Feb 27 16:36:31 2004

Of all the numbers *I* have to juggle, why can't I remember my own phone number? :/
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 27 15:50:31 2004

John - Yep, my number is still the same, will call you later
Simon W
- Fri Feb 27 15:04:55 2004

John - Yep, my number is still the same, will call you later
Simon W
- Fri Feb 27 15:04:48 2004

Simon! Simon! Please give me a call and we can sort out meeting up this weekend... My phone number is the same as ever still.... Or if yours is still the same then I can give you a call...
John
- Fri Feb 27 12:02:58 2004

What to expect, I guess. :) My own theory is that it's the Gulf-Stream to blame for all these pregnancies... Gotta be... Logical... :|
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 27 11:41:24 2004

Two lads in my geeky department recently became fathers. (Dads that is, not priests)
dsp
- Fri Feb 27 11:38:51 2004

You've got to respect that luddite cunning there though haven't you?
John
- Fri Feb 27 11:02:11 2004

Thanks John! Yes, it seems an "I.T" thing at the mo because my bro-in-law is a network admin for a large company oop-north. Perhaps it's an evil ploy by luddites to destroy the network infrastructure - make 'em all Dads with sleep deprivation! :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 27 10:45:57 2004

Congratulations to your brother in law Nigel! Blimey, it seems like everyone is at it!
John
- Fri Feb 27 10:09:23 2004

Cheers Tom! I'll certainly add those utils to my armoury! I actually managed to discern who's mail box was spoofing and sent him a polite, but instructive, mail to appraise him of my findings... :/ Incidentally my bro-in-law became a new father last weekend and we had a panicky phone call the other night along the lines of "do they *really* scream so much?!". I hope you are faring better :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 27 09:37:10 2004

Free (and very effective) virus removal tools. http://www.f-secure.com/download-purchase/tools.shtml obviously, prevention is better than cure, but these will sort you Nigel! (you want F-SoBig to cure Blaster if I remember rightly..??)
tom
- Thu Feb 26 18:59:35 2004

Hmmm... Bit of a damp squib here ... The snow's gone already and the sun is shining!! Rang home (45 mins away) and still snowing there... :/
Nigel
The Wild West, - Thu Feb 26 14:22:00 2004

London: No snow here yet, but if it does I shall pull up the drawbridge and hibernate until its all gone.
Mad Mumsie
- Thu Feb 26 13:06:00 2004

Hello chaps. Any snow your way? It's trying here, but not settling as of yet. I'm keeping my own temperature up buy getting annoyed over all these Blaster virus attacks. Mi port 135 has never been so compromised! Especially as no dodgy sites are allowed or email attachments get opened... Hiss-Bang-Pop! Gotcha, you blighter..... Fume, fume...
Nigel
The Wild West, - Thu Feb 26 12:42:58 2004

But Rob, you've got tonight off
Mad Mumsie
- Wed Feb 25 16:07:34 2004

DAMN DRAT AND BLAST! I'm flying this bloody weekend. How annoying. Might as well go out and just commit hairy-carey.
Rob Lang
- Wed Feb 25 12:38:56 2004

Friday or Saturday evening would be grand. Will send you a text later on sir!
Simon W
- Wed Feb 25 11:33:27 2004

Yes Simon! ...although I'm going to be busy in the daytime Saturday and Sunday, I have Fri/Sat/Sun evening all free I think.
John
- Wed Feb 25 09:45:43 2004

I thought you were going to say Bradley.
tom
- Wed Feb 25 09:37:40 2004

Maybe we can meet up at the weekend?
Simon W
- Tue Feb 24 16:42:41 2004

Indeed it is John!
Simon W
- Tue Feb 24 16:41:37 2004

Surely not Simon....?!?! How exceedingly random!
John
- Tue Feb 24 16:33:37 2004

Nope. Reading!
Simon W
Reading, - Tue Feb 24 16:20:25 2004

Dudley....?
John
- Tue Feb 24 16:11:13 2004

Hi John (and all) Guess where I am now!
Simon W
?, - Tue Feb 24 11:41:38 2004

tom@rowan.me.uk.no-more-spam if you see what I mean.
tom
- Mon Feb 23 17:08:28 2004

Tom, I want to send you an email... where should I send it...?
John
- Mon Feb 23 15:10:29 2004

Ahhhh.... another hard days work done.... must be Asahi time again!
John
- Sun Feb 22 19:00:30 2004

hello John, my saturday is going fine. As usual i have done very little today (nice), also i have a couple of bottles of San Miguel "on ice", well there's one left and it looking a bit lonely so..... ;)
kev
home - Sat Feb 21 21:19:48 2004

Hello Kev! How is your Saturday going? Unusually, I've been working really hard today, and now I've officially finished for the day. Got some Asahi in the fridge, just about cold enough now I reckon.... mmmmm....
John
- Sat Feb 21 20:11:53 2004

actually, i think its rather comforting to know that Lincoln is for hire!
kev
home - Sat Feb 21 19:57:20 2004

Unsophisticated slobbish grey haired old crone with a degree in stats. Very boring and pathologically unsociable. I'm available for mindless profiteering based on your deep insecurities and unrealistic expectations about life.
Some woman
- Sat Feb 21 14:17:06 2004

Don't believe it chaps! I used to live in Lincoln. There's no sophisticated blondes there!!
Nigel
The Wild West, - Sat Feb 21 13:43:48 2004

hmm.
tom
- Sat Feb 21 12:47:07 2004

sophisticated blonde with 36C/26/38 stats. Very bubbly an uninhibited. I'm available for incalls and outcalls anytime, a - PHONE ME NOW **(07831)595066.** and visit my website. *
anjelica christine <christine@allan69.fsbusiness.co.uk>
Lincoln UK, Lincolnhire - Sat Feb 21 10:57:36 2004

Satisfyingly, if you search google for suma3, the top hit is a reading chappie: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=suma3
tom
- Fri Feb 20 23:03:00 2004

What spec of Sun Rob?! Old Sparc Classic maybe like suma1??
tom
- Fri Feb 20 17:29:50 2004

Ha! Reminds me of my first scientific calculator - a Casio jobbie. It can (I still have it!) multiply all numbers up to 69 - as in 1x2x3 etc. But the display goes blank for several seconds while it thinks about it. No idea why it would actually *want* to do this but... It's kinda cute all the same.
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 20 16:21:04 2004

Is that right Rob? I'm pretty impressed that tabloids these days can do basic arithmetic... fitting I suppose, as the people that read them typically can't.
John
- Fri Feb 20 16:15:00 2004

It is a Sun thing. Is the number of hours and minutes that the 'Sun' on my desk takes to calculate 9+24.
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 20 16:03:26 2004

Thanks Tom - you've caused me to have that Tina Turner song stuck in my head now.
John
- Fri Feb 20 14:21:15 2004

What's bubblebath got to do with it?
tom
- Fri Feb 20 12:15:09 2004

So Rob, is that a Sun / Yard-Arm thing; or perhaps the perceived position of a Muon within the Quark type of reasoning?
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 20 11:08:38 2004

11:12. Not before. Not after.
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 20 10:56:14 2004

Morning all! John: The time for Maltesers is that point (about now actually) when you seriously wonder about the sanity of leaving that nice warm duvet...
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 20 09:14:33 2004

I'm considering eating some Maltesers this morning. If anyone could advise on which time would be most appropriate, it would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
John
- Fri Feb 20 09:09:03 2004

Blimey Nigel, your ancestors must have had it rough...
John
- Fri Feb 20 09:07:08 2004

Tom: Glad to read you've gained the "new father's sense of humour" - much better than going round the bend... My advice, for what it's worth is to buy Boot's ear-plugs. They reduce dB ratings to a bearable level. Otherwise the only variable or label you'll be able to get your head around is "aarrrggggmyeardrumsjustbroken" !
Nigel
The Wild West, - Thu Feb 19 21:35:24 2004

Ho-ho! Chaps! I missed the bit about my surname... Yes I used to absolutely hate it when younger, but now I love it. I tried to get a job at Founder's Ale once but that came to nothing except a bemused reply saying 'no'. Cousin of mine has done the family history and even confirmed the price taken for assuring the quality of said beer was usually a cask of the ale rather than such crudities as money! Sounds grand to me... :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Thu Feb 19 21:34:53 2004

That's terrible, John. But funny.
Rob Lang
- Thu Feb 19 14:18:27 2004

I've heard there's a problem with WearsOutClothesReallyQuickly version 2.3.... but apparently you can get a patch for it.... boom boom!
John
- Thu Feb 19 12:37:21 2004

We've got a bundle with CryAllNight v4.7(BETA) and DetectandFillCleanNappy v1.2. Bargain.
tom
- Thu Feb 19 12:10:42 2004

Is Dom installed with the latest Baby 2004? Does it have Nappy-Filler V2.0 (tm), CuteBaby V1.67 (tm) and ScreamThe HouseDown V5.1 installed for free?
Rob Lang
- Thu Feb 19 11:22:33 2004

Don't try to fill us with your evil lies Tom. I just said the word linux the other day, and still had to recompile the kernel twice.
John
- Thu Feb 19 11:06:29 2004

I am surfing on a newly installed SuSE Linux box. it detected my TV card and I didn't even have to recompile the kernel...
tom
- Thu Feb 19 10:55:48 2004

I am listening to jazz on a satellite channel which comes through a transmission engine I wrote. It is very satisying indeed. Mmmmmm jazz.....
John
- Thu Feb 19 10:44:53 2004

Two brothers - Imagine and Take.
John
- Thu Feb 19 09:40:35 2004

Funny name? Nigel That
tom
- Wed Feb 18 18:46:26 2004

What a coincidence - isn't that Nigel's surname...?
John
- Wed Feb 18 17:03:39 2004

I want to be one of these: "ALE-CONNER / ALE FOUNDER - official who tested quality and measure of ale served in public houses"
tom
- Wed Feb 18 16:31:34 2004

Re: Wetting baby's head: Yup. BEEEEEER!!!!
tom
- Wed Feb 18 16:30:36 2004

Will Baby Gunther-Reisling (Boo's alternative name) be sitting her GCSEs soon, then?
Rob Lang
- Wed Feb 18 09:27:29 2004

Awww..makes me feel all nostalgic for when Boo was a newborn! Except for zero sleep and all the screaming....on second thoughts things are a lot easier now! Glad you're enjoying this special time - relish every moment as they grow soooooo fast.
Alex
- Tue Feb 17 19:45:19 2004

I have found a surprisingly entertaining webpage. Did you know a snobscat is a shoe repairer, a funambulist is a tight rope walker or a knockknobbler is a dog catcher? Yes, it's a list of archaic occupations: http://www.cpcug.org/user/jlacombe/terms.html
John
- Tue Feb 17 14:33:10 2004

Isn't that some kind of new parent code language for getting drunk...?
John
- Tue Feb 17 14:28:27 2004

Just need to wet his head.
tom
- Tue Feb 17 11:47:41 2004

(cont.) It is amazing to see the changes happening in his body as the time passes: He's filled out a bit, his head is a normal shape, the yellow colour is draining by the day, his skin looks less dry and more normal, he has more control over his hands and legs. We've had him in the baby bouncer too and he's looking around trying to focus and make sense of everything. Special times. :-)
tom
- Tue Feb 17 11:46:55 2004

Yup... It was odd for us too. Felt like having a birthday party or something. Anyway, he's doing well. The midwife was here this morning and says that he's gained quite a bit of weight. He'd lost over 10% of his birth weight (fairly normal) this time last week making him, um, 6lb 8 oz when we left hospital last Thursday. He's now 7lb 8 oz. A pound in 4 days. Not bad son! :-)
tom
- Tue Feb 17 11:45:57 2004

One week already old eh Tom? Blimey, it seems like only last week when... oh, er...
John
- Mon Feb 16 09:17:33 2004

Indeed. :-)
tom
- Fri Feb 13 22:38:19 2004

Good choice Mr Rowan - now you can be Tom, Dom and Mom.
John
- Fri Feb 13 09:55:35 2004

Any middle names?
dsp
- Fri Feb 13 09:34:44 2004

I don't like my name! WWWWaaaaaaah! Waaaaaah! I wanna be called Engelbert! WWWWaaaaaaah!!!
Dominic
Cot near bed, - Fri Feb 13 09:08:40 2004

What a super name. You could ask Alex about sleepless nights!
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Feb 13 08:59:44 2004

Is open direct-seller.com.
b2b
- Thu Feb 12 23:29:36 2004

We have decided on Dominic. Sarah and Dominic came home today. So the sleepless nights start now....
tom
- Thu Feb 12 21:53:17 2004

I thought we'd agreed on something algorithmic ... Newton-Raphson perhaps?
Jimmy
- Thu Feb 12 17:09:51 2004

So, err, does baby have a name yet then....?
John
- Thu Feb 12 16:23:22 2004

Nice geek moment, there John!
Rob Lang
- Thu Feb 12 09:20:54 2004

Especially for fans of pigeon related RFCs: http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc1149.html
John
- Wed Feb 11 18:19:23 2004

Just saw the pics of baby...he's so cute tom...have to come see u guys VERY soon...!
Chris Rowan
- Wed Feb 11 17:12:10 2004

True: train operators et al, are pricing themselves out of a business they didn't build to start with. Seems perversely wrong :( If it was a much nicer experience modelled on the Japanese system - or even the German one (!) we'd all *want* to use the trains. Where is that simple commodity "customer satisfaction". Up against the buffers I suspect! Sorry, mini-rant over.
Nigel
The Wild West, - Wed Feb 11 16:50:05 2004

Penalty fare for falling asleep...? That seems a little harsh. Didn't train fares go up at the start of this year as well...? I haven't got on a train for quite a while now, and my life is notably happier as a result.
John
- Wed Feb 11 11:51:44 2004

Having a really good day today. Fell asleep on the train. Got off at Redhill (stop after Reigate). Phoned in late. Got back on another train. Got off at Reigate and was stunned by a £10 penalty fare. On top of that, my toothache is getting worse! Still, at least my leg's not fallen off!
Rob Lang
- Wed Feb 11 10:27:44 2004

Wow - look at all that red hair! He's gorgeous....well done Sarah!!
Alex
- Tue Feb 10 21:06:29 2004

Yes he is adorable... although he has a hint of mischief in his eyes, don't you think?
John
- Tue Feb 10 09:26:24 2004

Wonderful pics. Thanks Tom! He's got his Dad's hair. Let's hope he has his Mum's wit. ;-)
Rob Lang
- Tue Feb 10 09:09:57 2004

What a cute baby! Just like his dad! Have you come up with a name yet? (Tim's very good)
dsp
- Mon Feb 9 23:19:44 2004

Hey guys.... Quite knackered.. not had time to sit down and write an account of the the Event. It's all good though. :-) Here you go for now: http://www.maison-de-stuff.net/tom/baby/2mins_old.jpg http://www.maison-de-stuff.net/tom/baby/1day_old.jpg and a big (3Mb) video! http://www.maison-de-stuff.net/tom/baby/newborn.avi Thanks for all the good wishes via email, text and message board.. Sarah has been told all about them and says thanks too. :-)
tom
- Mon Feb 9 23:10:15 2004

Tom: Hope mother and baby are doing well. Have you time to take and post any piccies?
dsp
- Mon Feb 9 16:28:00 2004

Mine was something of a disaster :(
Jimmy
- Mon Feb 9 13:05:16 2004

Everyone had a nice weekend? Obviously, Sarah and Tom did! I went to the gliding school but did not fly. The weather was pants and the airfield resembled a muddy lake. Had fun Saturday night, though! Sunday, saw Big Fish, which was really cool. Suspend disbelief for 2.5 hours and enjoy Tim Burton's weirdness. What did you get up to?
Rob Lang
- Mon Feb 9 12:39:12 2004

Congratulations!
Jimmy
- Mon Feb 9 12:27:01 2004

Congrats to Tom
Mrs J Brown
St Pauls Catholic College, Sunbury - Mon Feb 9 09:54:27 2004

Yea, congratulations Tom!
Arthur P. Thewsbody
- Mon Feb 9 09:50:32 2004

Congrats to you and Sarah, Tom! A baby Boy, I hear. We'll have to call him Goldernbaby.
Rob Lang
- Mon Feb 9 09:15:50 2004

Wonderful news, congratulations! Boy or Girl
Mad Mumsie
- Mon Feb 9 09:08:26 2004

Congratulations Tom!!
Alex
- Mon Feb 9 09:03:37 2004

Congratulations Tom! ...and Chie says omedeto (means the same thing).
John
- Sun Feb 8 12:01:01 2004

Yup. All is well. Will do a write up for posting later on. :-)
tom
- Sun Feb 8 10:19:29 2004

baby arrived...! yay...will let tom tell more later
Chris Rowan
- Sun Feb 8 00:10:26 2004

That sounds awful! What if they bring their mates round and play loud music?
dsp
- Sat Feb 7 19:38:39 2004

Rob: But what woman in their right mind would want to give birth to an 18 (or in your case) 19 year old person. Ugh.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Feb 6 16:43:59 2004

IT Room. Baby. IT Room. Baby. IT Room. Baby. Do you think that Sarah might be able to "hold it in" until it gets to the age where you can shove it off to Uni. That way, you don't have to have a baby and you get to keep your IT room. I am genius.
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 16:39:55 2004

Tom: Make use of this "free" time to catch up on sleep, learning "Zen And The Art Of Changing Nappies" and stock up on your favourite tipple. You'll probably need all three! Best wishes! :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 16:35:26 2004

Rob: I'm angling for a clear space on something I can put my Thinkpad in just that place! Hopefully the WiFi is the way to go with all this "mobility" :( Mad-Mumsie: No truer word spoken in jest... Though I'd probably only be allowed a shed. Mind you I suppose I could arrange a "still" in there... :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 16:23:42 2004

I may lose my IT room as a bedroom. Groan. Still no baby.
tom
- Fri Feb 6 16:22:42 2004

Nigel: Oh no, its much longer than that, they keep coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course you could always buy a larger property, or a summer house at the bottom of the garden with large padlocks, just for you would be the answer.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Feb 6 15:59:28 2004

Shawbury indeed! Of coruse, you can move the IT room into the master bedroom. Her indoors will really appreciate that!
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 14:44:44 2004

Rob: Ah, well, I'm at (what gives me small pleaseure to relate) the "unregarded end of the western spiral arm" of the A5, very (too) close to the (Gulp!) border... So probably out of range. Think the ones I see originate from Shawbury or Sleap or similar. Mad-Mumsie: So I won't get the "IT" room back until I pack the little beauty off to Uni then? (Gulp - again!)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 14:08:53 2004

Its clearly a typo. It should read: "oscilloscope related". The author's really gonna see his arse!
dsp
- Fri Feb 6 13:26:17 2004

Nigel: what goes around, comes around - we've just turned the small bedroom into an IT room.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Feb 6 13:09:58 2004

Nige, where exactly are you, then? I fly not far from the A5 but down the Luton end.
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 13:09:57 2004

It's a document written by the devil, John! Detalerepocsollicso is another name for St Nick.
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 13:05:54 2004

Often see that ... "Oscillo Scoper" is widely regarded as being happy. Famous Nobel Prize winner - that's why he was so happy... :|
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 11:50:58 2004

I am trying to read a technical document, and in the first paragraph, the fourth word is "oscilloscoperelated". I am too afraid to read on any further.
John
- Fri Feb 6 11:36:21 2004

Ahh, so are they the ones with a little engine at the front? See those occasionally overhead at weekends. Think they follow the A5 for VFR.
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 11:32:13 2004

The bbc are giving 17 knots this weekend. My limit is gusts of 25, so that's ok. Aparently, it is going to -5 on Sunday. Without windchill. Oh, btw Nigel, I fly self-launching gliders, so take off is a little less hairy!!!
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 11:24:45 2004

Rob: with this wind you won't need towing up - just point the beasty in the right direction and you'll be off! I'm trying for a clear-out of my "IT room" to make a nursery for my daughter. Does "IT" keep well in a damp garage? Going WiFi instead of cable networking... That might be fun :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 11:16:59 2004

If the weather reports are true, its batten down the hatches, pull the chair in front of the fire and pick up a good book. However, I, of course, shall be out and about most of Saturday.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Feb 6 11:05:31 2004

I think Kimmy is not a real person - it looks like a spam trap to me.
John
- Fri Feb 6 11:03:07 2004

I'm flying this weekend - if the weather holds and the airfield isn't a lake.
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 10:56:42 2004

Anyone glad it's finally Friday? This week I'm feeling very "square eyed". Any plans for the weekend?
Nigel
The Wild West, - Fri Feb 6 10:47:47 2004

Kimmy, we don't really delete posts unless you're posting something unsavoury. I'd put it down to a technical "difficulty". Please post it again and see if it disappears!
Rob Lang
- Fri Feb 6 09:12:07 2004

Que?
Jimmy
- Fri Feb 6 08:38:58 2004

Why my previous comments was deleted, how about freedom of speach?
Kimmy <kim-russian@getmail.com>
Germany, - Fri Feb 6 02:05:45 2004

Well, if you're gonna have algorithms as middle names, how about the Van Wijngaarden-Dekker-Brent Method? Or Runge-Kutta? Or just good ol' Huffman?
Jimmy
- Thu Feb 5 17:29:36 2004

Damn. Knew there should have been penalty clauses.... BTW, Dean (my best man..) and his wife are now the proud owners of a little girl called Eve. I'm not sure what they paid for her.
tom
- Thu Feb 5 12:58:02 2004

Just for fun: http://www.nonhostile.com/img/office.gif
dsp
- Thu Feb 5 12:49:48 2004

John: ... or "BubbleSort". More femine don't you think?
Nigel
The Wild West, - Thu Feb 5 12:34:45 2004

Bring it on Mad Mumsie!!
dsp
- Thu Feb 5 12:22:03 2004

Bradley if it's a boy, Bradlietta if it's a girl. Middle name quicksort.
John
- Thu Feb 5 12:11:28 2004

dsp: That's fighting talk where I come from - you have obviously been mixing with the wrong type of person. And I seem to remember that it wasn't the girl who emptied our bank account! Mind you my granddaughter might, can't resist the more than occasional visit to John Lewis.
Mad Mumsie
- Thu Feb 5 12:08:45 2004

Staying on that topic, and borrowing a Christmas analogy. Have you peeped at your present? (do you know if its gonna be a girl or boy). Might I be the first to say that Bradley is a stupid suggestion for a boy's name.
dsp
- Thu Feb 5 11:34:36 2004

Tom: Its clearly gonna be a girl because its late and making you wait. Has it emptied your bank account as well? Yup, thought so.
dsp
- Thu Feb 5 11:33:14 2004

I suggest dressing up the baby in the wrong colour - pink if it's a boy, blue if it's a girl. That'll learn him/her.
John
- Thu Feb 5 10:16:40 2004

Tom, did you not lay down penalty clauses for late delivery in your original contract....?
John
- Thu Feb 5 10:09:17 2004

Sort of...
John
- Thu Feb 5 09:58:20 2004

Still no baby.
tom
- Thu Feb 5 09:57:25 2004

What job are you doing, which requires listening to German radio? I bet you've flogged 'em a load of digital TV kit, which also carries radio stations, yep?
Jimmy
- Thu Feb 5 08:55:35 2004

Here comes gaff of the day: I'm currently listening to a german radio station (I have to for my job, honest). Man alive! If this was all they had to listen to back home, no wonder they invaded Poland!
John
- Wed Feb 4 17:21:53 2004

No, a tennon is part of the phrase 'Leave a Tenn-on the dresser, sweetie'.
Mr Collins Oxford
- Wed Feb 4 16:44:08 2004

Is a tennon a bit like a lob on?
dsp
- Wed Feb 4 16:19:52 2004

Ah, well, where I am (a backwoods if ever there was one) the phrase - "Well I saw my arse," is usually used to mean "I got very annoyed, old bean" in the context of : "When the f@@@ t*** spat in mi beer... Well I saw mi arse!" Regional differences are so quaint, aren't they?!? :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Wed Feb 4 16:19:31 2004

Nigel: Nice. I Saw My Arse. SMA. Nice. Like it. I'll get a tennon.
Rob Lang
- Wed Feb 4 16:12:51 2004

Look, a whole site devoted to wierd words http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/index.htm (including Kerfuffle )
Kev
- Wed Feb 4 16:05:21 2004

I really like being the cause of a kerfuffle ;) Now thats a great word!
Kev
At Work - Wed Feb 4 15:56:38 2004

Thanks Tim, your explanation was both entertaining and informative.
John
- Wed Feb 4 15:48:38 2004

Yes, glad to hear the saw bottom has cleared up.... :| (Sorry, but someone had to say it!)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Wed Feb 4 14:56:57 2004

Well, I'm glad that clears that problem up. Now we ALL know
Mad Mumsie
- Wed Feb 4 14:32:57 2004

Upon somebody making a stupid mistake/statement and then realising it, that person could say: "Well I saw my arse."

Example: Whilst giving a lecture about parallel processing I proposed this fantastic linear sorting algorthm that required a million processors to sort a million items in a linear number of steps. It took an undergraduate student to point out to me that this was clearly a brute-force solution. I saw my arse.

Its a phrase picked up from a friend of Clare's called Gemma from University.

A third party could use it a la: "God Ali! I bet you saw your arse!"

I think it derives from the fact that non-deliberate public bottom exhibition is embarrasing and undesirable.
dsp
- Wed Feb 4 14:21:21 2004

I'm a bit confused by the whole thing. Tim, any chance of an executive summary?
John
- Wed Feb 4 11:42:02 2004

There's too much of swords, saws and arses going on around here.
Rob Lang
- Wed Feb 4 11:34:22 2004

You saw your arse? Is this some sort of perverse passtime? What type of saw do you use?
Jimmy
- Wed Feb 4 10:58:36 2004

My sword is yours Kev!
dsp
- Wed Feb 4 10:48:55 2004

Well I just saw my arse! 5293 vs 10632 I'm nowhere near the top 1000.
dsp
- Wed Feb 4 10:48:43 2004

943, pah! I'm a mighty: 5293
http://www.nonhostile.com/seti.asp
I will destroy you!
dsp
- Wed Feb 4 10:47:11 2004

Yea... if I was a governement agency trying to cover up the truth about extra terrestrial intelligence I know where I'd be starting a mysterious small localised fire.
John
- Wed Feb 4 10:24:56 2004

Hmmm, well done Kev! What's that with the Ministry of Serendipity? They must have an awful lot of parallel processing going on there.... :|
Nigel
The Wild West, - Wed Feb 4 10:02:41 2004

Oooh you're 943 now...
John
- Wed Feb 4 08:20:55 2004

Well, since we're comparing 'puters, I am currently running: 2400+ Athlon, 1Ghz Athlon, 1.7M Intel Laptop, 900Mhz Laptop, 1.8Ghz Intel, 650Mhz Intel. k6 266 ;) Oh and if your gonna run seti, use the command line app ;) http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/stats/country_47.html ------> 945 and rising- where are those pesky aliens anyways Grrrrr.
Kev
Home - Tue Feb 3 22:21:49 2004

Wow!! If you ran the SETI screensaver when all that lot was idle you'd probably be the first to make contact! The UNIX we have at work is AIX; at home I have SUSE and XP. Hmmm... A lady I once knew coined a useful phrase which has stuck with me: "My head's a shed!"
Nigel
The Wild West, - Tue Feb 3 21:09:43 2004

I've been busy. My PCs are: 1.4Ghz laptop, 800Mhz Laptop, 500Mhz Laptop, 120Mhz laptop x 2, 2 Ultra 30 Sparc servers, 1 Ultra 10 Sparc, 1 Ultra 1 Sparc, a couple of sparc 5's and a sparc 2 (like Rob!!)... and a couple of PIII 700 pcs and a Dual PIII 800 server. Nice UNIX mix. :-)
tom
- Tue Feb 3 20:54:44 2004

Nigel, rather than save all this stuff, we just repeat it ad infinitum. When people get bored of it, we do it some more. That way, we never forget about the cheese spoon.
Rob Lang
- Tue Feb 3 15:17:06 2004

Very gooooood Nigel.
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Feb 3 14:55:46 2004

Recursion joke: "There's sweet FA in Manucturer then?"
Nigel
The Wild West, - Tue Feb 3 14:21:07 2004

John, Jimmy, Rob and Alex... I hope you are all going to save these "bon-mots" for an end-of-year-almanack. At least stamp a copyright notice on them: they're corkers! My boss wants to know what I'm laughing at... Oh heck...
Nigel
The Wild West, - Tue Feb 3 14:04:53 2004

Errr.... it's ancient Hebrew for a craftsman who specialised in novelty spoons...
John
- Tue Feb 3 13:59:29 2004

Or manucturer even. I can't even spell it incorrectly
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Feb 3 13:55:24 2004

What's a Manuctor
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Feb 3 13:54:03 2004

Working lunch that is - it never stops.
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Feb 3 13:52:40 2004

There is a little known plague brought about on the kingdom of Egypt in the old testament; the plague of cheese spoons.
At first it was misinterpreted as a blessing, but quickly it was realised by the people of that land that they were in for a right royal bollocking from him upstairs. Attempts to use the cheese spoons for stirring coffee resulted in horrific melting incidents which were deeply frustrating. Thus we have the following passage, in the expigated version of the old testament:
"...and verily did the people of Egypt cast down those infernal implements. Men and boys begged their wives and mothers to be set free from the tryrany of cultery forged by a clearly ill-advised manucturer, not of metal, nor of wood, nor even of stone or leather or papier mache, but of dairy produce. Of curd were the spoons made - of fermented curd were they hewn. Oh pissing hell, the king did say unto his people, we have been acursed with spoons of cheese."
John
- Tue Feb 3 13:50:38 2004

And I've just been to the pub for lunch
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Feb 3 13:49:52 2004

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what a lot of kerfuffle over a simple phrase, when EVERYONE knows that spoon is just a different way to spell Knife.
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Feb 3 13:49:16 2004

Chuckle!!
Nigel
The Wild West, - Tue Feb 3 13:36:11 2004

Amazingly, it also crops up in Shakespeare:
JULIET: My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words Of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound: Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?
ROMEO: Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.
JULIET: How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, And the place death, considering who thou art, If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
ROMEO: Worriest not, my pumpkin. Thou has hair more golden than an artichoke 'betwixt a cheese spoon.
JULIET: Oh takest me now, big boy.
John
- Tue Feb 3 13:35:59 2004

Sorry, this message was too big.
John
- Tue Feb 3 13:35:47 2004

I had no idea that we'd been overheard!
Jimmy
- Tue Feb 3 13:29:02 2004

In fact, it's currently being repurposed as a new trendy management buzz word. Just the other day I overheard two high powered executives in a coffee shop using it, whilst drinking "pretenticcinos":
Executive A: But how can we possibly reengineer our partnership mission statement whilst maintaining customer focus if our total quality vector is so misaligned with the intrinsic market fragmentation policy?
Executive B: Simple, we just cheese spooned, and overnight we cut our supply chain management overheads in half whilst laying the groundwork for a streamlined paradigm shift in the refactoring of our production outlay.
Executive A: You have beautiful eyes...
Executive B: Will you come back to my place?
John
- Tue Feb 3 13:27:38 2004

*applause* I just spat sandwich all over my keyboard while reading that.
Rob Lang
- Tue Feb 3 13:27:19 2004

Actually, it is a corruption of the original Chinese "Chi-s'pun" ... which is a kind of vegetable not dissimilar to a cucumber. Sadly, the Chi-s'pun has become overlooked in the west, and is underepresented in almost all western democracies. Only in Argentina, as a result of a right-wing military Chi-s'pun coup, are they a significant force.... The saying 'There are no votes in Chi-s'puns' was of course shown to be false in the last US Presidential Election, when the votes of many poor Floridians were in fact deemed by Governor Jeb Bush to have been inserted into Chi-s'puns rather than ballot boxes.
Jimmy
- Tue Feb 3 13:00:42 2004

What do you know about Cheese Spoon? Cheese Spoon is a actually a philosophical argument made up by a chap called Derek Spoon, who was made of Cheese. He argued that taste is more important than smell. An important theory for people who are made wholly or partly out of cheese.
Rob Lang
- Tue Feb 3 12:39:35 2004

No, no, no. Its a spoon, owned by a chap who lives on the moon, which, as we all know, is made of camembert.
Alex
- Tue Feb 3 12:15:15 2004

You're all wrong. It's a spoon owned by a chap made of cheese.
Rob Lang
- Tue Feb 3 11:54:31 2004

I believe it's a kind-of long, thin thing, for getting the last of the stilton out of the jar. Well, that's what I use it for anyway. Mostly.
Jimmy
- Tue Feb 3 11:18:31 2004

What's a cheese spoon? Is it a spoon designed for picking up cheese, or one made of cheese...?
John
- Tue Feb 3 11:15:12 2004

Sounds good... This one's beige and dust - grey dust. Hope I don't breathe that stuff in :(
Nigel
The Wild West, - Tue Feb 3 11:15:09 2004

I've got a Fujitsu Siemens too but its an Amilo laptop. I like it because it is a funky silver colour, but then I am a girl....
Alex
- Tue Feb 3 11:08:02 2004

So sorry chaps! An unguarded moment of rash exuberence... I'll keep myself in check next time!! :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Tue Feb 3 11:00:51 2004

We've had people gutted for less. Gutted with a spoon. A cheese spoon.
Rob Lang
- Tue Feb 3 10:41:20 2004

Jolly sensible?! That's fighting talk round these parts!
Jimmy
- Tue Feb 3 08:55:08 2004

Ha! Like your philosophy!!! Jolly sensible!
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Feb 2 19:15:24 2004

My computer is adequate. I have never checked its clock speed, and don't intend to now. I used to be keen on these things, but after many years of working with the buggering things day-in and day-out, I've finally reached the conclusion I don't give a fuck. As long as the letters appear at the same rate as the keyboard-repeat, and the monitor doesn't give me eye-strain, and I don't have to make a cup of tea for *every* compile, then I'm basically happy.
Jimmy
- Mon Feb 2 18:12:33 2004

With the machine I'm sitting at right now, I can understand where you're coming from, Rob! Next month we're getting upgraded base units with Win2K - I'm hoping for something snappier but can't help feeling there'll be added security layers and it'll all just get bogged down again :(
Nigel
The Wild West - Mon Feb 2 16:57:50 2004

To be honest, Nigel, the Sparc makes me wish I had a Spark and a Gallon of petrol to go with it!
Rob Lang
- Mon Feb 2 16:42:32 2004

Yes, the Spark certainly *does* sound cool (or actually *look* cool) Used to drool over their workstations.... But that's another story... :)
Nigel
The Wild West - Mon Feb 2 16:04:32 2004

I work at a 2.4 Pentium hp with a 17" screen. Also I work with a Sun Sparc 2. Yes, 2. Of 1990 technology. The Sparc is slower than my Dad's typing. Everything else is very groovy.

Being John Hawkins is a wonderful thing and I'm glad you are. And nobody else is either.
Rob Lang
- Mon Feb 2 15:56:59 2004

Sounds pretty interesting to me! Doubt this mini Pc has a spare PCI slot anyway! (And if it does it's already filled with an "Annoyance" card, designed to prevent any sort of swift, modern, computer experience...)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Feb 2 15:37:18 2004

Mine's a 1.5GHz Compaq. The monitor is a 17" flat screen. Nothing that special about the PC itself, but it has some pretty fun PCI cards in it... well, fun if you work in broadcast engineering. Exceedingly dull otherwise, I imagine.
John
- Mon Feb 2 15:26:26 2004

Can I ask you folks a question out of interest? Just to help me through a long Monday (I'm on "lates"). What kind of PC's do you all work at? I've got an absolutely awful Fujitsu Seimens jobbie here. The screen's okay at 17", but the network is sooo slow, NT takes forever to do anything. And the keyboard must've cost about £1.99 (and they were "done" at that!)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Feb 2 15:03:03 2004

Ahhh... you mean on Tuesdays I'm Frank (and I don't mean straightforward and to the point).
John
- Mon Feb 2 13:18:32 2004

Or maybe you're Schitzophrenic ? (sorry, maybe that's not a nice thing to say about someone you don't know! But, well, it's a funny old world you know and ....)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Feb 2 12:55:40 2004

Oh I see Jimmy... either that or he meant non-sparkling.
John
- Mon Feb 2 12:43:07 2004

John - I think you might have misunderstood Rob's comment about you. He meant that you're stationary ... and (presumably) he likes you that way.
Jimmy
- Mon Feb 2 12:40:11 2004

You see, that's what I like about this place... Sometimes it just *doesn't* make any sense - and that's nice :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Feb 2 12:36:56 2004

I see where you're coming from Rob - I've continued to not look like any of the incarnations of Dr. Who for the last month, and early indications seems to suggest that trend will continue throughout February... and it's all thanks to my lucky carpet.
John
- Mon Feb 2 12:22:56 2004

Lots of reasons! Tom's becoming a Daddy, I'm babysitting for the first time. Kate is lovely. I might be able to survive the whole month without having only £10 in my account. I've passed my probation at Moody's. Kate is lovely. I'm going to a Valentine's ball. Kate is lovely. You're still John. Kate is lovely. Do I need anymore reasons?
Rob Lang
- Mon Feb 2 11:59:46 2004

Perhaps I ought to get some landscape gardeners in to construct a makeshift grassy knoll in my front garden. Hopefully Mr. Kleeneze would get the hint.
John
- Mon Feb 2 10:42:30 2004

If only I had a sniper rifle now, I could gun down the bastard that keeps leaving those annoying household products magazines at my flat - Kleeneze or Betterware or whatever they're called. I wouldn't mind, but they want to take them back again, so I actually have to put effort in to leave it outside on a particular day at a particular time. I think a bullet from an anonymous gunman really is the only way to resolve this issue.
John
- Mon Feb 2 10:36:49 2004

Why is that then, so called Rob...?
John
- Mon Feb 2 09:44:44 2004

Morning! And what a fine month this is. :-)
Rob Lang
- Mon Feb 2 09:14:04 2004

Ooooh it must be February then!
John
- Mon Feb 2 09:10:18 2004

morning all!
Jimmy
- Mon Feb 2 09:04:17 2004

No baby yet...anytime now(ish) though
Chris Rowan
- Sun Feb 1 22:06:40 2004