The aquaduct. Now there's a thing which should never be put in sandwiches!
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 31 17:37:54 2004
mammal sex understatement
tom
- Wed Mar 31 13:23:17 2004
animall name info
animal <animal@name.com>
- Wed Mar 31 10:51:00 2004
I use a slightly unorthodox, but in my opinion excellently crafted piece of software called Photo Studio, which is freely downloadable from http://www.stuffware.co.uk
John
- Wed Mar 31 09:34:16 2004
John, when you add digital photos to the net, do you use a camera's program to fomat the web pages, is it done in html, or is it a photoshoplike program? Thanks.
Travis
- Wed Mar 31 04:27:30 2004
Should have gone for prunes - far less in the way of existential crises to be found there.
John
- Tue Mar 30 16:41:48 2004
I tried to invent raisins but there's that problem of explaining how mind and body interact inherent in my philosophy which prevented it.
Descartes
- Tue Mar 30 15:25:25 2004
Raisins? Yea, that pretty much overshadows the other inventions doesn't it...? I mean, have you ever tried putting helicopters in a fruit scone? I did once, it was disastrous.
John
- Tue Mar 30 11:13:36 2004
Da Vinci invented raisins? I always thought that was Descartes!
Jimmy
- Tue Mar 30 11:04:46 2004
A little know fact is that history has never given Da Vinci credit for inventing raisins.
dsp
- Tue Mar 30 09:56:12 2004
Yeah you're right Jimmy. I believe Da Vinci once said the same thing. In fact he'd discovered electricity and even created a petrol generator, but unfortunately burnt it out irrepairably trying to make himself a pot noodle.
John
- Tue Mar 30 09:23:08 2004
What's the point of having incredible commercial opportunities, if one's lunch is cold? I think this is a matter of priorities.
Jimmy
- Tue Mar 30 08:20:17 2004
http://br.geocities.com/hardcoreland2
Hardcore Land <ffd@aol.com>
- Mon Mar 29 20:55:35 2004
I've gotten it to work finally. Maybe it was user error. But I'm downloading Smart FTP at any rate. Thanks for the suggestion.
Travis
- Mon Mar 29 15:46:56 2004
But wait Jimmy - think of the amazing commercial possibilities of what you have just stumbled across - you've just discovered radiation proof plastic!
John
- Mon Mar 29 14:04:39 2004
Bloody microwaves! They really are complete and utter crap, aren't they? I'm trying to heat-up some chilli for lunch, but the food is staying stubbornly cold, while the plastic container is approaching melting point. What's the bloody point, eh? I ask ya!
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 29 12:35:53 2004
Not that I know of Travis - several of us use SmartFTP, which I've used fairly recently without any problems. It's free which is nice - http://www.smartftp.com
John
- Mon Mar 29 09:27:32 2004
I've been having problems uploading files through the basic windows ftp program the last two days. Has something changed recently that would cause this?
Travis
- Sun Mar 28 19:04:54 2004
Remember to avoid the first person singular!
dsp
- Sun Mar 28 10:54:27 2004
I hope you are all enjoying your weekend - I'm not! I'm having a thoroughly depressing day trying to write bits of my thesis and not being able to get anywhere.
John
- Sat Mar 27 13:20:27 2004
Incidentally, we (my 'mates' and I) have just wrapped the first evening of shooting for a short, campy horror film we're shooting. It was a great time. I'll have production stills available online soon.
Travis
- Sat Mar 27 04:23:06 2004
Is this a change for the worse, Rob?
Travis
- Fri Mar 26 22:30:32 2004
Certainly mate. It really is.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 26 14:38:42 2004
Blimey Rob - a bit of an end of an era then I suppose...?
John
- Fri Mar 26 14:02:10 2004
I get to hand the banner to my successor tonight. :( Looks like I'm going to 1996 (Earley). They actually need me as a training officer. Start next Thursday.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 26 13:21:56 2004
Yay! I get to go home today!
tom
- Fri Mar 26 12:20:48 2004
Jimmy, hope you're having a better day today.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 26 12:18:37 2004
F F F Friday!!! Happy weekend everyone!
dsp
- Fri Mar 26 09:11:25 2004
Bugger! Why is nothing going right for me today?
Jimmy
- Thu Mar 25 14:29:01 2004
Ah I see what you mean now - I think an "l" went missing somewhere along the way.
John
- Thu Mar 25 11:37:10 2004
Nice pictures John, I like the one of you and Iain at "15:22:06".
Rob Lang
- Thu Mar 25 09:04:04 2004
I just went to have a look at Microsoft's website, and was a bit surprised to find the following:
John
- Wed Mar 24 15:42:23 2004
I am stuck in Northampton all week. Yawn.
tom
- Wed Mar 24 13:46:57 2004
HB Kev
tom
- Wed Mar 24 13:46:31 2004
We have 3 Kevins, but I don't think any of them have a birthday today. I guess that makes them non-ISO-compliant.
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 24 12:47:18 2004
Thanks very much everyone ;)
Kev
- Wed Mar 24 11:42:21 2004
How bizarre Tim...! I'm talking about the Kev who works for the same company as me... Could there an ISO standard defining when people called Kev should have their birthdays?
John
- Wed Mar 24 11:05:21 2004
What a bloody coincidence! It my mate Kev's b'day today too! Unless we're talking about the same Kev. He too is unlikely to read this, but... Happy Birthday to you Kev, and in fact all Kevs.
dsp
- Wed Mar 24 10:53:02 2004
Happy birthday Kev ... what's the number?
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 24 09:44:03 2004
(sung) Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Kevin, Happy Birthday to you.
Mad Mumsie
- Wed Mar 24 09:23:47 2004
Hey everybody it's Kev's birthday today... Although he probably won't read this, but just in case he does, then now you know...
John
- Wed Mar 24 09:11:24 2004
Good morning! How's things in the maison?
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 24 08:34:17 2004
we are having farewell drinks with kevin san etc.
shu
- Tue Mar 23 21:19:05 2004
I too have this problem...so i just give up looking for things and find a virtual substitute....;) *jokes*
Chris Rowan
- Tue Mar 23 17:18:57 2004
Most interesting, Rob and Mumsie! I'll have to check in to it...
Travis
- Tue Mar 23 14:05:20 2004
Yes I have noticed this Tim, when asked by Chie where things are, my first thought is typically Ctrl+F.
John
- Tue Mar 23 12:27:16 2004
Having used the web, word processors and text editors for a large part of my life. I find that my brain become frusted when unable to find objects/text in the tangible world. My thought processes automatically starts to look for a search function before initiating a hunt-high/hunt-lo search for missing socks, keys, mobile etc.
Has anyone else noticed this phenomenononen? (doo do, do do do)
dsp
- Tue Mar 23 11:52:26 2004
John: Any chance of knocking up a coversion web page for converting first person singular prose into essay speek? Only so I can read the code and reverse engineer the rules for my head!
dsp
- Tue Mar 23 11:50:08 2004
Generally speaking, we shall find it preferable to avoid that particular grammatical construct, yes.
John
- Tue Mar 23 11:26:33 2004
Sticking with the gramatical theme... It has been a long time since I wrote my dissertation; but please can I pick the brains or more recent 'writer-uppers'. Clare is currently writing hers, should she avoid use of the first person singular?
dsp
- Tue Mar 23 11:19:37 2004
Well I'm glad that's cleared up John. Good work.
dsp
- Tue Mar 23 11:16:02 2004
He was with the fourth Dr. and in the sixteen series.
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 23 11:00:56 2004
I recently encountered some ambiguity in a similar vein while Chie's cousin was visiting recently, largely of a linguistic nature. In Japan the equivalent of putting an apostrophe and an s on the end of a noun is "no", so for example to say Brian's car, you'd say Brian no curuma. It becomes confusing because they also tend to use it to mean "of", "from" or "attributed to". So Chie kept talking about Sato no Obasan, Sato being her cousin's name, and Obasan meaning aunt (or also confusingly it can mean just woman). To me this meant Sato's aunt, who is therefore Chie's Mum. However, what she really meant was Sato's mother as in, the aunt (of mine - from she's perspective) attributed to Sato.
John
- Tue Mar 23 10:59:10 2004
Yes, that one. I'd also like to point out that my uncle is Mad Mumsie's brother, for those of you that didn't know. That makes Mad Mumsie my sister's cousin's auntie.
Rob Lang
- Tue Mar 23 09:50:07 2004
The puppeteer uncle, or a different one...?
John
- Tue Mar 23 09:23:02 2004
Ah Travis, did you know that Rob's uncle was in one of the Dr Who series - I think it was called The Ribos Operation.
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 23 08:59:07 2004
Directory of Limousines
Limo Phonebook
Shawn <limo@limophonebook.com>
- Tue Mar 23 02:24:04 2004
Wonder if any of you are Dr. Who fans. I was just speaking about this to my uncle a few days ago, what a great show it was. And I'd not known but there is a Dr. Who movie due out next year. The lead has been cast...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/doctorwho/newtv/cult/news/drwho/2004/03/20/10073.shtml
Travis
- Tue Mar 23 00:24:06 2004
Saturday was very busy, but Sunday was great did very little, Rob popped in on his way home from gliding with my card, which as always he had made, the sentiment inside was great, not too sure about the picture of Yoda on the front though!!
Mad Mumsie
- Mon Mar 22 14:45:28 2004
Yep. We did the same. My mum on Saturday and Sarah's yesterday. Dominic stole the show by smiling and cooing at everyone. :-)
tom
- Mon Mar 22 14:39:44 2004
A great weekend thanks. Sunday was occupied with Mother's Day related activities. How was yours?
dsp
- Mon Mar 22 12:49:15 2004
Good morning, Monday again. Did everyone have a super weekend. I did.
Mad Mumsie
- Mon Mar 22 10:00:56 2004
Good work Tim.
John
- Sat Mar 20 11:19:47 2004
Wankel Rotary Engine
dsp
- Fri Mar 19 16:21:06 2004
Oh goodie, the date and time on the front page works again! Now I don't have to keep opening the page to see if there are any new messages
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 19 15:38:48 2004
fuck wank shit (please remove later on John)
tom
- Fri Mar 19 15:32:48 2004
So presumably shitake (or do I mean shiitake) is fine then?
John
- Fri Mar 19 14:31:37 2004
I'm listening!! (reading - same thing)
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 19 13:51:02 2004
It broke on Fork. But shitey got through.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 19 13:41:04 2004
right.
tom
- Fri Mar 19 13:20:21 2004
Just seeing if I can break Tom's swearing filter on his view of the Maison Message Board:
Fork ORF you shitey forker.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 19 11:24:03 2004
Shit, I was going to say that!!!
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 19 10:29:44 2004
Is that the high-tech equivalent of "You lot really need girlfriends?"
dsp
- Fri Mar 19 09:40:58 2004
Dating-Service-Singles.com
Balabass <balabass@ngs.ru>
- Thu Mar 18 21:34:14 2004
I did. But today has been terrible as a result.
Travis
- Thu Mar 18 20:29:55 2004
Had a lovely evening in Pangbourne last night. Did everyone else have a lovely St Pats day?
Rob Lang
- Thu Mar 18 11:34:23 2004
Good work Tom.
John
- Thu Mar 18 11:15:29 2004
melon is an anagram of lemon
tom
- Thu Mar 18 11:11:42 2004
Hey cheer up, fresh fruit isn't a good reason to go getting all meloncholy.
John
- Thu Mar 18 10:13:18 2004
Oh there's no need to be so melondramatic about it...
John
- Thu Mar 18 09:15:37 2004
Melons are cool! You talk so hip...
dsp
- Wed Mar 17 12:44:21 2004
With those three, you have one match.
dsp
- Wed Mar 17 12:43:59 2004
Pear? Ly chees? Ah! Melon.... I bet you're a melon man aren't you Tim...?
John
- Wed Mar 17 09:52:14 2004
You have two of the three fruity items.
dsp
- Tue Mar 16 17:59:32 2004
Grapes may also have featured.
John
- Tue Mar 16 17:36:13 2004
P.S. Fruit I'm reckoning banana, apple, and something orangey. Oh and a kumquat.
John
- Tue Mar 16 17:22:58 2004
Who knows though Tim, a bowel of chicken soup might catch on. Perhaps caterers ought to follow this lead and start serving more food in hollowed out organs (a la haggis). You could have blancmange in a scooped out goat's spleen, or perhaps a kind of ravioli made from badger's ear drums, all stitched together.... Or an exotic twist on the old favourite canelloni - parrot oesophagus stuffed with spinach and ricotta.
John
- Tue Mar 16 16:36:04 2004
I had a bowl (nearly put bowel) of chicken soup, and an assortment of fruit. Any one care to guess?
dsp
- Tue Mar 16 16:12:20 2004
They are expensive aren't they?
John
- Tue Mar 16 14:44:03 2004
Mine was lovely. I had sandwiches provided by the company with really expensive kettle crisps. Fantastic.
Rob lang
- Tue Mar 16 14:40:01 2004
Did anyone else have as nice a lunch as mine? Mine involved minestrone soup and cauliflower cheese, as well as some cold roast potatoes and nice crusty bread.... Mmmmmm leftovers....
John
- Tue Mar 16 14:06:40 2004
...and you're out of bed already? Blimey Tim, you're too honest for your own good sometimes.
John
- Tue Mar 16 09:39:41 2004
Well this is nice. Today is my first day working from home!
dsp
- Tue Mar 16 09:29:47 2004
I was in the Cotswolds yesterday... does that count...?
John
- Tue Mar 16 09:24:16 2004
Is there anybody there............................
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 16 09:09:12 2004
... thanks for that
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 15 08:25:53 2004
And that would be Mister Bukkake it would seem.
dsp
- Mon Mar 15 00:01:41 2004
http://www.misterbukkake.com
http://www.misterbukkake.com <www@misterbukkake.com>
http://www.misterbukkake.com, http://www.misterbukkake.com - Sun Mar 14 15:58:43 2004
That would be Sarah. :-)
tom
- Fri Mar 12 17:31:19 2004
That is a very cool present - top marks to whoever gave you that one.
John
- Fri Mar 12 17:26:52 2004
Have you flown Dom around in the helicopter yet? That the great sort of fun irresponsible stuff Dad are allowed to do!
dsp
- Fri Mar 12 15:13:17 2004
Thanks all....! I've had a good day so far.... and I have a radio controlled helicopter to play with over the weekend. :-)
goldeRnboy
- Fri Mar 12 15:04:48 2004
[nelson]ha ha[/nelson] Nice Tim. I'm using Byrnie's old Palm m100. It's great for writing Icar stuff on the train!!!
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 12 15:00:50 2004
I cannot believe I just made such a rookie mistake.
dsp
- Fri Mar 12 14:35:46 2004
Hey got a new work laptop...
>nerdy>
Check out these specs... 120GB hard disc, WiFi, 512MB DDR RAM, 3.06 P4, DVD Writer, 17" screen. Its a beast!
>/nerdy>
I'm gonna be working from home a few days a week!
dsp
- Fri Mar 12 14:35:18 2004
August, March.... c'mon it's as near as dammit...?
John
- Fri Mar 12 14:23:07 2004
Was it really five days ago that I commented that Monday was half over, and here we are at the weekend already. I'm jumping ship in 15 minutes - off to the wilds of Somerset for the weekend.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 12 13:39:25 2004
Ah Jimmy, all the best people are born in August.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 12 13:23:33 2004
... I dunno ... it just doesn't feel right somehow. I think it has to happen on the actual day. Which is in August.
Jimmy
- Fri Mar 12 12:51:13 2004
Good idea John, so *sung* Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Jimmy, Happy Birthday to you - whenever it is!
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 12 11:19:39 2004
My spellig is so gud that Mr. Collins named a dikshunary after me.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 12 11:06:34 2004
Jimmy: do we have to be excited about your birthday on the actual day? Would a few months either side be OK?
John
- Fri Mar 12 10:47:11 2004
I noticed it, but am so used to Rob's unusual spelling that I ignored it! Jimmy: ifyou let us know when it is we can ignore it.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 12 10:39:05 2004
Even my 17 inch flatscreen can't quite fit all of that text on...
John
- Fri Mar 12 10:24:05 2004
Oh and a hbd Tom ;)
Kev
- Fri Mar 12 10:20:06 2004
I don't think anyone actually noticed John, I mean, its not like its been written in 10ft high Red text on a yellow back ground or anything, is it ?
Kev
- Fri Mar 12 10:19:26 2004
I particularly enjoyed the spelling of goldeRn there....
John
- Fri Mar 12 09:56:42 2004
Nobody ever gets this excited about my birthday :(
Jimmy
- Fri Mar 12 09:47:20 2004
Very understated Rob. Was that the largest font size you could find?
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 12 09:28:41 2004
Happy birthday Tom!
The funny thing about CORGI is that it offers absolutely no guarentee or come back. Gas fitters have to pay about £65 per year but they do nothing for it other than set an entrance exam. Once you've passed it, you can do what you want without recourse.
dsp
- Fri Mar 12 09:10:30 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDERNBOY!
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 12 09:08:14 2004
Happy Birthday, Tom!
PS- I don't think we've ever met.
Jimmy
- Fri Mar 12 08:59:06 2004
Disturbingly enough, the heating-bloke was able to prove quite adequately what the previous bloke had done. Firstly, he wasn't a heating bloke. Next, he's *known* to be a total cowboy. Finally, the flue was pointing upwards and the guy said it should have been sideways. "Othwerwise" he said "The rain will come straight down it and your boiler will fill with water and the electrics will short-out". We opened the boiler up. Out poured the water. The guy who dunnit in the first place wasn't qualified, so I told the *actual* heating bloke his new address ... so with any luck Corgi will prosecute him. It's still cost me 600 quid, but at least I can cause trouble for the bastard!
Jimmy
- Fri Mar 12 08:58:08 2004
*sung* Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Tom, Happy Birthday to you.
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 12 08:54:38 2004
Indeed it is.
tom <tom at>
- Thu Mar 11 17:40:23 2004
Pardon.
Mad Mumsie
- Thu Mar 11 15:45:45 2004
Let me try that again... Hey everyone, It's Tom's Birthday Tomorrow!
John
- Thu Mar 11 14:02:05 2004
Hey everyone, It's Tom's Birthday Tomorrow!
John
- Thu Mar 11 14:01:39 2004
John: The small thing you haven't quite grasped is that "Cyberdad" is Rob's Dad, and extremely particular about what goes into our abode!
Mad Mumsie
- Thu Mar 11 13:31:45 2004
Reminds me of that song ... "Right said Fred, got to have the doors off..."
Rob Lang
- Thu Mar 11 10:45:23 2004
I never ceased to be amused about how it always seems to be that the bloke currently in your house fixing your boiler/plumbing/heating is apparently a total expert, whereas apparently everyone else that has ever previously worked on your system is a complete cowboy - "I can't believe whoever set this up didn't use the right kind/shape/size/colour of wire/pipe/valve/pump/splangebracket".... and then the next bloke comes along a few weeks later and makes exactly the same criticisms about the previous bloke's work.
John
- Thu Mar 11 09:38:20 2004
Jimmy: Why do supposed central heating experts repeatedly get in wrong. Our system was put in, many years ago mind you, with the wrong size pipes. No wonder the valve kept going. My brother had a similar problem and his new boiler went wrong and had to be replaced, but warranty invalid because pipes used were the wrong size. Ours is right now, because Cyberdad did it - and its perfect!
Mad Mumsie
- Thu Mar 11 09:05:16 2004
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3801680316&category=41504
Ebayer
- Wed Mar 10 17:38:46 2004
Buggering boiler broke! And why? Because the b'stard who installed it did it wrong ... and it filled up with water and went --pfszzzzzt!- bugger bugger bugger. 600 quid down the drain. Bastard!
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 10 17:16:26 2004
John.... try FreeBSD. You don't need to compile the kernel very often...
tom
- Wed Mar 10 08:50:29 2004
Rob: They will if they hit the central heating fuel tank!
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 9 13:56:04 2004
Hmmmm.... dodgy Linux web browser...
John
- Tue Mar 9 11:45:34 2004
Do they know when they expect to strike oil in Hendon?
Rob Lang
- Tue Mar 9 11:35:49 2004
Rob: NO IT IS NOT!! It's trying to do more than three things at once, two I can manage without a problem, being a woman, but more than that and SOMETIMES and I repeat SOMETIMES things go adrift. This was such a case. Mind you the drilling doesn't help.
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 9 11:17:30 2004
Yawn. Sigh. Ill.
tom
- Tue Mar 9 10:54:43 2004
It's you age.
Rob Lang
- Tue Mar 9 10:52:05 2004
Bit of finger trouble there, whilst dealing with a phone call from a worried librarian.
Just wondered - is there anybody out there. I've got nothing to read!
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 9 10:37:23 2004
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 9 10:35:15 2004
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 9 10:35:15 2004
Mad Mumsie
- Tue Mar 9 10:35:14 2004
Well, soonish.
Mad Mumsie
- Mon Mar 8 14:58:52 2004
I CAN retire soon!
Mad Mumsie
- Mon Mar 8 14:58:16 2004
I'm thinking of retiring soon.
tom
- Mon Mar 8 14:33:26 2004
It's almost christmas, in fact.
John
- Mon Mar 8 13:40:53 2004
... practically the weekend!
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 8 12:56:55 2004
But nearly afternoon, so half gone
Mad Mumsie
- Mon Mar 8 11:49:58 2004
Indeed.
tom
- Mon Mar 8 10:04:02 2004
Mmmmmm.... Monday.
John
- Mon Mar 8 09:02:40 2004
Just got back home following the Jimmyfest in Oxford... Nice.
John
- Sat Mar 6 00:06:09 2004
Aye. Have a good one. Ah - sleep!
tom
- Fri Mar 5 18:30:29 2004
Have a great weekend everyone!
Mad Mumsie
- Fri Mar 5 16:36:39 2004
Can we have a picture of Jimmy on the "who's who" list. He's more regular than a laxative addict.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 5 14:25:00 2004
Jimmy - have sent you an email.
John
- Fri Mar 5 13:55:43 2004
Good thinking there, John. I especailly like the Vileda-mop one! BTW: what's going-on tonight? Who's coming? What time to meet? And where (pub/pizza) ?
Jimmy
- Fri Mar 5 12:45:05 2004
I'm imagining something which is a cross between The Knights of the Round Table song from the Holy Grail, and the "He didn't invent the..." song from IKB, that animated film by Bob Godfrey (?) the same bloke that did Henry's Cat.
John
- Fri Mar 5 09:40:14 2004
It's a spectacular start there Jimmy. May I also suggest the inclusion of a Pretzel dough kneeder, a dartmoor pony feeder, a Mexican goat bleeder, a zen garden weeder, that elephant off Blue Peter and a super mop manufactured ostensibly by Vileda.
John
- Fri Mar 5 09:38:25 2004
Really looking forward to John's pissup. We'll meet you at the station mate.
Rob Lang
- Fri Mar 5 09:17:18 2004
... but now I come to think of it, a misucal might be good after all ...
Jimmy
- Thu Mar 4 13:28:43 2004
... those strange words being "could" and "musical" respectively.
Jimmy
- Thu Mar 4 13:28:06 2004
We caould do a whole misucal! I thingk it should be called: Don't look now, Mrs. Kibblesworth, but there's a terrorist in the bathroom
Jimmy
- Thu Mar 4 13:27:07 2004
I was just looking at the news, and found a great line about an "Al-Quaeda Leader". It rhymed so well, I thought it should be made into a song. I thought he might own a "Himalayan cedar", or be "An avid tabloid reader", or a "Mystical mind-reader" or even a "Spanish donkey-breeder". Who knows? What do you reckon? We've had some very successful collaborative-song-writing thingies on this site before , so c'mon chaps ... suggest some rhymes or verses!
Jimmy
- Thu Mar 4 13:08:54 2004
Well if you consider it important, then it's not wasted, is it? Or is that what you were trying to say (and I'm being stupid again)?
Jimmy
- Thu Mar 4 11:19:39 2004
Wasting time is an important part of living.
tom
- Thu Mar 4 10:18:37 2004
There has been a slight change of plan. Looks like I will be coming along in the morning and going straight off. I might drink some of your fruit juice, though!
Rob Lang
- Thu Mar 4 09:09:31 2004
No, no, no... you've got it all wrong, its the monkey who has his four point tool and the jaguar who eats it. Because he's a four point tool eater jaguar.
Are you staying on Saturday? Do you want feeding or anything?
Alex
- Wed Mar 3 20:39:07 2004
Why the freak did they have to blow up the speed camera on the IMA advertisement? Do they not know what "Happy Braking" actually means in that context...?
Mark
- Wed Mar 3 18:08:40 2004
I hate those fucking speed-cams. In fact, I found a lovely site dedicated to their destruction here.
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 3 17:48:29 2004
Thanks Rob. I shall sleep easy tonight now. AND My goodness Travis, that's a huge amount of money. If we get caught by a speed camera its £60. if you cough up immediately!
Mad Mumsie
- Wed Mar 3 16:07:24 2004
This should probably be on the rant page. But I'll say it here first at least. I received a traffic violation yesterday for the first time in my life. I'd left early so I could get to school with plenty of time to ready quietly and it just so happened that at that time of day, the new route I've been taking is a "school zone" and so the speed limit is 20 mph instead of 35. I was doing 33 and received a $472 fine. I'm outraged. I'll say more, if I can remember how to do a rant...
Travis
- Wed Mar 3 15:51:08 2004
Raj! Or shall we say Captain Caveman! How are you? What are you up to in London?
Rob Lang
- Wed Mar 3 14:27:41 2004
Raj! How are you doing? What are you doing in London? Is it Java by any chance?
dsp
- Wed Mar 3 13:48:57 2004
hmm, for some reason I just called myself boo ?
Raj <raj@javajedi.com>
- Wed Mar 3 13:31:13 2004
'ello all from the world of contracting in London
Boo <raj@javajedi.com>
- Wed Mar 3 13:30:37 2004
Mum, it's the one that starts: "A Jaguar is wandering around the jungle looking for something. He goes up to the monkeys and says: Have you seen my four point tool?"...
Rob Lang
- Wed Mar 3 13:15:59 2004
Alex: I know that I was told the beginning of your joke, but I'm damned if I can remember it, and its annoying me!
Mad Mumsie
- Wed Mar 3 12:58:19 2004
Tom: I think it did, because I had trouble logging on.
Mad Mumsie
- Wed Mar 3 12:57:11 2004
...I though it was a mild-scream hairy-lipped squid...
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 3 12:14:55 2004
...It's a nick-nack Maddy Black give the frog a loan.
dsp
- Wed Mar 3 10:43:32 2004
...because Hans that does the dishes can be as soft as Gervais, with mild green hairy lipped squid.
John
- Wed Mar 3 08:54:14 2004
"But the other horse is a dreadful mechanic."
Jimmy
- Wed Mar 3 08:42:33 2004
Did the maison disappear earlier today?
tom
- Tue Mar 2 21:12:56 2004
"Of course I ate it, I'm a four point tool eater jaguar!"
Alex
- Tue Mar 2 19:59:04 2004
and the nun jumps out and says "Gte the hell of my car, asshole!"
Rob Lang
- Tue Mar 2 16:39:38 2004
Oh dear. Shame...
Nigel
The Disappointed West, - Tue Mar 2 14:19:18 2004
... so the novice nun shouts "Fuck off out of the way you bastards!"
Jimmy
- Tue Mar 2 12:27:42 2004
Dad, I'm over here!
dsp
- Tue Mar 2 11:59:37 2004
Trav! Brilliant to hear from you. :)
Rob Lang
- Tue Mar 2 11:48:37 2004
"Windshield vipers"
tom
- Tue Mar 2 11:23:23 2004
and the butcher said "No, the steaks are too high!"
Jimmy
- Tue Mar 2 08:44:24 2004
and the milkman said "No, I'm looking for my milkfloat!"
Jimmy
- Tue Mar 2 08:43:19 2004
and the second Hydrogen atom said "Yes, I'm positive!"
Jimmy
- Tue Mar 2 08:42:53 2004
Incidentally, I'm not dead. Just very busy with school right now. I'm curious to know how the rest of the joke went w/ the prostitutes and the barstool.
Travis
- Mon Mar 1 23:11:48 2004
"No! I affraid knot!"
dsp
- Mon Mar 1 20:33:40 2004
"But it's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
tom
- Mon Mar 1 17:38:56 2004
Oh, alright then, have you got any carrots?
John
- Mon Mar 1 17:35:39 2004
(I liked the Fox-Hat one!)
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 17:07:36 2004
... and the third prostitute didn't say anything, she just slid down the barstool.
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 17:06:53 2004
You're going to Aberdeen? Wear the Fox Hat.
dsp
- Mon Mar 1 15:27:22 2004
Fair enough. What about:
and the bear said "You're not here for the shooting, are you?"
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 15:00:50 2004
Wheres the fun in that Jimmy..... ?
Kev
- Mon Mar 1 14:58:11 2004
Well done Kev!
dsp
- Mon Mar 1 14:50:56 2004
A skip.
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 14:49:31 2004
KNOCK KNOCK Who's There? Boo Who?..
I spent over a year trying to make a 2000-piece
jigsaw puzzle of a chicken. Then I found out .....
Kev
Work - Mon Mar 1 14:36:35 2004
Guys ... you don't have to post the rest of the joke ... you're meant to post your *own* favourite punchlines instead!
Boom! Boom!
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 14:36:34 2004
Funny... Debugging a pile of assembler suddenly doesn't seem so bad after all... Certainly easier! :))
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Mar 1 14:32:14 2004
And another (in parallel)... "Don't cry! Its only a joke!"
dsp
- Mon Mar 1 14:29:19 2004
I'll have a go...
"It was a box of cornflakes"
dsp
- Mon Mar 1 14:28:06 2004
Man in Hospital: "Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!"
Kev
work - Mon Mar 1 14:21:11 2004
Alright, I'll do another:
And the doctor said, "I know, we had to amputate both your arms."
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 13:54:42 2004
John, try to get in the spirit of the thing! The assumption behind "Punchlines" is that all jokes are old, so the idea is to tell only the punch-line and everybody will already know the rest of the joke. Somehow, it's more amusing than telling the whole thing. And quicker. In the case of the doctor-joke, it's the one about the motorcyclist who suffers from the wind blowing down the front of his neck, and so wears his jacket back-to-front. Now come on- add some of yer own!
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 13:27:59 2004
so I said "I careered off the road, constable."
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 13:22:55 2004
Nope you got me stumped... Something like doctor doctor why does my husband keep walking backwards...?
John
- Mon Mar 1 13:22:18 2004
"...which is why you should never wear clogs."
tom
- Mon Mar 1 13:19:39 2004
Who wants to play "Punchlines"? I'll go first:
And the doctor said"He's fine, but he didn't half scream when we turned his head round the right way."
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 13:17:18 2004
M&S Ham sarnies are my lunch of choice. With fruit. An a punch in the face.
Rob Lang
- Mon Mar 1 12:52:08 2004
I'm afraid its the good ol' peanut butter butties for me again!
Jimmy
- Mon Mar 1 12:51:15 2004
Vegetables taste absolutely great with melted butter and soy sauce - particularly broad beans, but I guess it would work really well with leeks too. For best results get some really good (preferably Japanese) soy sauce - and maybe steam the leeks rather than boil them. Plus some good butter - currently I'm quite fond of President.
John
- Mon Mar 1 12:29:23 2004
You may! And I'd like to suggest sliced, gently fried in butter, sprinkled in black pepper and served with a nice non-tomato based pasta and sauce! Yumm... Can't you just tell we're rapidly approaching lunch time. :)
Nigel
The Wild West, - Mon Mar 1 11:44:33 2004
Ooooh happy St. David's Day everyone. Leeks for dinner then! (Can I recommend a la greque).
John
- Mon Mar 1 10:17:36 2004
Had a lovely weekend flying. Now back to being on the ground. Argh. Tom, please would you txt me the contact number of your boss (either at the Squadron or mobile) so I can have a chat. Ta, Rob
Rob Lang
- Mon Mar 1 09:06:17 2004
