OriginalPhrasebook

A bit of a cliche. Can be used after almost any sentence whether it is in fact a cliche or not, either for humorous effect, or just because it sounds cool. Usually preceeded by it's or that's. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) A bit of a mind thing... Said when something appears to be, erm, a bit of a mind thing- i.e. a man mortally afraid of the shadow cast by washing lines. [Origin Vic Reeves] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Alright there! Usually said when something boufy happens. [Origin Generic Wimbourne] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Boufy | And everyfing? Said at the end of just about any sentence, especially those where some foodstuff is being offered. [Origin the Man in Medina] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Chili sauce and everyfing? | And if you get sacked you get the same job, for less money. Part of Nick damning talk on business men. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | You can't take your tie off, because it's company policy. | And Stuff To be added at the end of anything whenever you want. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) And that. Can be put on the end of a setence for vagueness or humour and that. [Origin Vic Reeves] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Arbitrariness A word John Ogden came up with once, that may well not be real, and whether or not it is genuinely is arbitrary. [Origin the Reverend Doctor John Ogden] Added Wednesday, October 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Arbitrary | Arbitrary Something that doesn't matter, for example: - The size of any cache - What Jon Ellis did last night - What colour socks Norman Lamont wore on July 23rd, 1987 (although in fact they were dark grey)... Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Dis is arbitary, we're not going to look at dis. | As standard When something is almost painfully normal. [Origin generic Wimbourne] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) As you really can see... Quality line often used by Ali. [Origin Ali Abdallah] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Really | At least... Followed by a negated statement concerning some current issue. For example: (During torential downpour) At least it's not raining or anything. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Badness If you have been describing something unpleasant, you may want to finish with this word. [Origin Some bloke] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Barbeque Food, beer, and in addition outside- perhaps the best way to spend an evening with your mates... [Origin Neanderthol man, although recent research shows it is unlikely they had kebabs] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Bare faced lie A lie that is utterly evident and not pretending to be anything else at all. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Better than cystitus A positive comment that can be made about almost anything that is otherwise generally quite bad (e.g. public toilets). [Origin Jo Brand] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Bints A fairly derogatory classification for women. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Bird Bloke A bloke only interested in birds (not the ornothological variety by the way). [Origin Luisa] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Bird pint A badly poured beer. [Origin Mark] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Blatant/blatantly Used in many contexts for general emphasis, for example, I'm blatantly called Frank. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | I blatantly took the piss | Boufy Originally said about Tim's hair, now synonymous to unmanageable. [Origin Ickle Lucy] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Unmanageable | Box drink The sort of beverage drank by children on school trips. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Um Bongo ® | Brand new combine harvester Used to indicate when one has recently purchased a piece of farming machinery. [Origin- A song by the Wurzels] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Brass parrot Apparently a vital part of a business man's inventory. [Origin Nick or one of his brothers] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | You can't take your tie off, because it's company policy. | Broken To be used to describe things that it wouldn't normally be said about. For example: - Tesco is broken. - ISO is broken - I'm broken... etc... In short anything in existence can be broken. [Origin John/Matt] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Brown Cardigan Alternative name for the Baron Cadogan, a Wetherspoons pub in Caversham. [Origin Luisa] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Epicentre of Banality. | Built-in When something is like integral to something else and that. e.g. hangovers are (usually) built-in to getting drunk. [Origin Simon, maybe] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) But she's obviously a slapper and high and drunk and... Used by Jon Ellis to try and put down John Hawkins after success with young ladies. In addition to obviously being a slapper, high and drunk, the girl may well also be desparate (hungry for dick), under-age, trying to get away from family troubles, trying to escape her boyfriend, blind, deaf, clinically insane, smells of soup, actually a bloke, only doing it to impress her mates or for attention, from some bizarre culture where they have utterly no taste in men and so on and so on. In short, any success was in no way at all down to John's charm or good looks, but simply a matter of circumstance. Note that Jon's name can be written as J. Ellis- dangerously close to jealous. Ha. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Hungry for dick | Butts Centre Alternative (original) name for the Broad Street Mall. [Origin Dunno] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Can we do another take please? During the days when the Radstock Road Aliens film was being made, this phrase was heard many times from John, much to the annoyance of all others present. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Can't be bothered not to The best reason for doing anything, used often when no other justification seems apparent. [Origin Simon and Gary] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Can't be happy with that Gary made this comment upon seeing bishop get cut in half in Aliens. Can be used for a variety of similar scenarios. [Origin Dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Carotina The sort of girl who, whilst not quite as nice as a Cetrolina, would be a suitable candidate for spending the rest of your life with. [Origin Lorenzo/John] (N.B. This is also Italian) Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Melanzanina | Cetriolina Italian word whose strict translation is 'ickle cucumber', but can be used to mean a very, very nice girl. (Top model like) [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Melanzanina | Cheers for that Used when something has been given (especially a piece of information) that was not entirely desired, thus leading to a mandatory 'Cheers for that', along with a raising of one arm with hand held out flat. Note there are also a number of set replies to this phrase. [Origin Simon and Gary] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | No Probs | Cheese and chips A savoury delight served up by the Student's union at Reading uni. Possibly contains a little too much cheese, but very good nonetheless... [Origin none- in fact predates all of creation by a factor of 2 (and a half)] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Chili sauce and everyfing? Condiment requirement specification, as proposed by the man in Medina. [Origin the man in Medina, who may or may not be called Mohammed] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Salad, chips? | Ci sono molti fiori nel giardino Said when you want to point out the sheer volume of flowers in the garden, whether there are in fact any there or not. [Origin Lorenzo/John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Clearly To point out the clearness of some observation, whether or not it is evident to the listener/reader, and utterly disregarding the fact that they may well basically not care. [Origin Ali Abdallah] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Cold like a bitch John's attempt at translating an italian phrase meaning it's very cold. [Origin Chiara/John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | It's raining porn | COME ON!!! Not much you can say about this one. [Origin Al Hall] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Come on, reset my BIOS! A challenge made by Gary to Simon as part of a long, intense, but utterly pointless argument. [Origin Gary] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Compostable (Highly) An utterly failed attempt at starting a word craze. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Config Corner A place occupied when installing new hardware on your computer. [Origin Unknown] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Connection closed by foreign host Nerdy humour at it's pinnacle. Said when you can no longer be bothered to listen to someone, or you make a right mess of whatever you're saying and can't be bothered to finish it off. [Origin telnet via the medium of Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Conz Nick name for John, originally from Conspirator, then Conspiraz, then Consp, then Cons, then Conz. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Snitch boy | Damn money's out. Often said by poor students. [Origin Interstate 76/Simon] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Damn...'s out | Damn...'s out Said when something no longer works or is no longer available. E.g. Damn money's out. [Origin Interstate 76] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | There goes the... | Die shit bastard A particularly scathing Italian insult. [Origin Luca] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Dio Merda Italian blasphemy said in moments of extreme frustation in a loud, angry voice, and with optional waving of arms. (Obviously difficult if you're tied up). [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Porca Madonna | Dis is arbitary, we're not going to look at dis. What JPT says to avoid actually having to teach anything. [Origin JPT] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Distraught To be somewhat upset as a result of some event, i.e. Some girl knicked my pint- I was distraught. [Origin Luisa] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Doh! Said if something goes wrong. [Origin Homer] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Don't clog up the One-Nine! An absolute imperative when using the CB radio. See the links for a solution to this menacing problem Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | One-nine | Don't listen to him, he's got a girlfriend! When John was trying to persuade Gary that nothing ever bloody happens ever, Simon retorted with this useful phrase. [Origin Simon] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Nothing ever bloody happens ever | Don't worry, I'm not looking at your breasts. Imagine this tricky scenario: You're in Halfords in Cheltenham, and are paying with a switch card (of course), for some arbitary items. In fact it's windscreen washer fluid. Anyway, the nice young lass serving you says "Is that all Mr. Ellis?" (The name being obtained from the switch card). Now, wanting to reply, you attempt to find out her name by locating some form of name badge about her person. The girl in question then gives you a funny look, and realising what she must be thinking, you wisely cover yourself with this phrase. Any potential embarassment is now utterly avoided. [Origin Jon Ellis] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Double standards One of the inherant problems with many women, at least most of the ones John's known. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Down 2 The solution for anyone in danger of clogging up the one-nine. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Don't clog up the One-Nine! | Draught excluder Jon Ellis put loads of this on the front door. John then tore it off because the front door wouldn't lock properly. Jon Ellis then had a go at John and put some more on. John then demonstrated again how the door could be pushed open, and the draught excluder was removed for a second time, and humble pie duly consumed. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Drunk Scale A means of measuring how sober someone is. 0 - Totally sober 3 - Fairly light-headed. 5 - Fairly drunk. Ability to be loud in public and laugh at stupid, childish unfunny things. 7 - Difficulties with walking straight, slurred speech, telling friends you love them. 10 - Seek immediate medical attention. Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Scale | Eighteen pounds of sheer destruction Said by Chris to discourage John from buying an eighteen pound piece of china, knowing that John would only break it as he had in fact done with every other plate/bowl he had ever owned. Trivia fans may wish to note that John has since purchased a plastic plate, for £4.80, from the Loon Fung Hong Cash and Carry in ChinaTown, London. [Origin Chris] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Epicentre of Banality. Phil's accurate description of the Baron Cadogan, yet another wetherspoons pub. [Origin Phil] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Saps your will to live. | Errr, yea love Tim's mate Immy's wonderful way of dealing with any nasty comment you receive from a girl. [Origin Tim's mate Immy] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Everything but electrical equipment. The definitive ruling for viable cocktail ingredients, as defined by Pops. [Origin Pops, otherwise known as Dave] Please note: Pops isn't actually anyone's father, it's just a nickname. OK? Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Fish stress management Probably not a real course. [Origin Andrew Grafham] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Fist in the eye An Italian phrase meaning something is unpleasant to look at, to the point of actual occular offence. [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Flagrant lie Not to be confused with fragrant lie. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Follow the bear (For great lager). [Origin Hofmeister, oddly thought by many people to be pretty poor, as Lager goes.] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Forty Pence The (ISO) standard unit offered by anyone making a dare or request of theft. See references for more detail. [Origin Nick/Matt] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | ISO standard | Fuck you and all your unborn children A rather harsh insult that Chris has been known to come out with in the past. [Origin Chris] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Fucker! A slightly unpleasant term of non-endearment to be used as much as possible, with venim. [Origin Simon, John and indirectly Skin from Skunk Anansie] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | With Venim | Generic Slightly nerdy description of something standard. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | As standard | Get away from my tent you rancid shit, go on- fuck off. One of the least polite methods for trying to get someone (i.e. Blanny) to leave the vicinity of your tent. [Origin Leon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Get one down ya Originally an instruction to have a drink, which has since been modified, now to mean doing just about anything. [Origin Al Hall] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) God yeah! Speaks for itself really. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Golden Gotcha The very last Gotcha in a crate or box of Gotchas. Drinking this is a real honour. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Gotcha | Golden Grolsch The last Grolsch. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Golden Gotcha | Gotcha A bizarre interpretation of KoschierBier, a brand of beer available in stubby format- shite but good. [Origin Simon and Gary] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Stubby | hahahahaha A particular sort of laugh done by Nick once, which raised towards the end and sounded really good honest. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Har-Har A mocking laughter, uttered when something bad has just happened to someone. For example: Peter: I've got a gammy leg, and I can't play tennis next tuesday. Jane: Har-Har [Origin Nick, although apparently it has something to do with the Simpsons] N.B.:This seems to piss Rob off quite a lot. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | hahahahaha | Harsh Rough, tough, severe, unfair, mean, nasty, unpleasant, grim and so on. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Have you done/started your...? Said by nerds to other nerds to ask what work they've done. [Origin Nerdiness] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) He wants to be part of an entirely separate group of perverts. Chris's answer to Rob saying he didn't want to be part of our group of perverts. [Origin Chris] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) He's got loads of fingerprints on his glasses. A comment on an A level computer science teacher's occular aids. [Origin Simon, Gary and co] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Hell yeah! Jon Ellis' personal variation on God Yeah. [Origin Jon Ellis] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | God yeah! | Holbrol Ickle Lucy's rather bizarre interpretation of the word horrible. [Origin Lucy] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Hounslow To Hounslow: To persistently sabotage your mate's chances of spending an evening in the company of a young lady (alone). [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) How many you having? Said when a large amount of some items (pies, condoms etc) are being obtained. Originates from the famous Yellow Pages video. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Pies | However The favourite total u-turn phrase. Note the distinction between a same breath and new breath however. However, there are alternatives to this phrase. Having said that, however is easily the best. On the other hand, a little variety never hurt anyone, but not forgetting that repetition is often funny. However, remember that too many u-turns can cause confusion. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Hungry for dick Now, you are dancing, minding your own business in a very crowded disco when one of your friends notice that "That girl over there has been staring at you all night.". Then, since the girl in question is either not a Cetriolina, Carotina or Melanzanina, but a foul Ragana, you amuse your friend saying: "Oh no, she's jsut hungry for dick.". [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Ragana | Hyperactive bastard. What Gary said he was going to turn into after drinking loads of soda stream coke to keep him up on an all-nighter. [Origin Gary] Added Sunday, March 1, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I believe that to be true When asked for some form of confirmation for a previously stated fact, this phrase may well come in handy. For greater effect repeat it once or twice, and emphasize the believe. Possibly used in conjunction with a bare faced lie. [Origin Vic Reeves] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Bare faced lie | I blatantly took the piss Possibly the worst thing to say upon leaving a room where you just underwent a plagiarism enquiry, and the door is still open. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Blatant/blatantly | I don't believe it When things are getting particularly bad, this phrase may be encountered. Has to be said correctly in Victor Meldrew style for the desired effect. [Origin One Foot in The Grave] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I heard a rumour that... Used preceeding a bare faced lie. It's ability to legitamise said lie are somewhat minimal. [Origin Vic Reeves... I believe that to be true] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | I believe that to be true | I really appreciate that An optional counter response to 'No Probs', said by the original initiator of the 'Cheers for that' routine. This particular response encorporates a very unenthusiastic arm raising, possibly only 4-6 inches. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | No Probs | I simply love... For example, "I simply love cats". When you wish to express your liking of something and don't want to beat about the bush at all. [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I wanna meet your bin man. A curious line from Lorenzo, not really too sure what he was trying to say here. [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I want junk food Don't we all?? [Origin Gary] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I'd rather vomit blood A strong indication that you don't want to participate in a proposed activity. [Origin Jill] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I'll drink to that Assume a set of three people consuming alcoholic beverages. We shall name these persons A, B and C. Now. A says something in any of the following categories: -Funny -Not funny -Clever -Stupid -Pointless. After a brief pause, person B (or perhaps person C, or maybe even person A, but this is abritary, and we're not going to look at this) may well reply with this phrase, and summarily drinks should be raised by all persons present, knocked together and then drank from. Note there is also an optional reply to be said by whoever didn't say this phrase (see references). [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | I'll second that | I'll give you 40p if you nick us that milk crate A request for theft of a dairy produce containing object, in return for the princely sum of 40p, made by gordie people to anyone called Andrew Grafham. Accent essential. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Forty Pence | I'll second that The optional phrase to proceed a usage of "I'll drink to that". [Origin Gary] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | I'll drink to that | I'm a rover, seldom sober A song to be sung with as much thick accent and drunken lewdness as is possible. [Origin an odd tape in Simon's car] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I'm aware of his work The usual reply to "You know (person's name)?". Can be used to the point of ludicrosity. [Origin Newman and Baddiel] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I'm not in denial A humorous contradiction. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I'm off then Said by John frequently when he goes off for a night without his house mates because they're all really boring, but he isn't. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I'm REALLY looking forward to this Said with sarcasm when the exact opposite is true, preceeding an event that will undoubtedly be just shit. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | It's just shit | I'm sorry, I'M sorry Popular quote from an out-take of the Radstock Road Aliens film, just after Tim screwed up. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) I've just remembered something... I don't care. When somebody tries to convince you of something or explain soemthing to you, you may well reply with this phrase. [Origin Fry and Laurie] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) In the style of... Part of a prompt for someone to perform something in a particular fashion for amusement. For example: Eat that apple in the style of a venetian gondolier. [Origin Vic Reeves] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Install To put something into or onto something else... a bit nerdy, actually. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Insults More of an artform than simple audio abuse, as mastered by such experts as Chris Challacombe, and other bitter twisted people. Se below for some classic examples. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | You're just shit | Interpolate A combination of inference and interpretation, with a hint of nerdiness about it, but what the fuck- it sounds cool. [Origin Tim] (N.B. a good example of the need for interpolation is given below) Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Tony "Mullet" Little | ISO standard A kind of nerdy humour that implies that the International Standards Organisation imposes standards not only on technical protocols, but also day to day activities and humourous routines. See references for examples of possible use. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Trotolina Amorosa... | It just isn't gonna happen Used when some event is clearly not ever going to take place, for example, girls coming to one of our parties, or Mr Ahamd sorting out the window. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It takes soooo long for the kernel to compile. Tim's apparent explanation for having cut a chair in half. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's a bit oh well... Something Simon often begins sentences with. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's a laugh Justification for doing just about anything. [Origin Simon and John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Can't be bothered not to | It's genetic A comment on any process that might involve genetic principles. For example- Laura's food being removed from the freezer to make way for stronger, fitter food (i.e. Nick and Andy's) [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's gotta be a challenge. Annoying girl quote #84660. The premise being that men have to present women with a 'challenge' in order to be a viable boyfriend. [Origin Luisa] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's gotta be good If something is evidently very good, then you might say this about it. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's just shit A variation on "You're just shit", when the object of frustration is a thing other than a person. [Origin Tim/John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | You're just shit | It's Mr Nicholas J Seacroft John's potentially irritating greeting upon seeing Nick. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's not what you want For example: rickets, ceiling tiles that keep falling off, squeaky beds, british rail sandwiches, being attacked by loads of miniature lobsters, having a monk talk to you for hours about kitchen utensils, the smell of burnt rubber... and so on. [Origin Dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's out Derivation of Damn ...'s out. Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Damn...'s out | It's quite great and that An example composite phrase. [Origin Simon] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Quite great | It's raining porn Means, bizarrely, that it's raining really hard. [Origin Chiara] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Cold like a bitch | It's really annoying because... The way Mr. Ellis starts over 50% of his phrases. [Origin Jon Ellis] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's surprisingly nice Said by Nick about whisky and milk. And yes, it is surprisingly nice. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) It's true Said, in many cases, to try and substantiate a fairly obvious (or perhaps even bare faced) lie. For example: "All waiters are in fact made from reformed sawdust... It's true". For full effect, must be said as sung in Sour Times by Portishead, "ets twoooooo".... [Origin Portishead] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Bare faced lie | It's what the kids want Oh, just figure it out for yourself. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Jellis AKA Jon Ellis, made to sound like jealous. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | L.S.D | Kebab van Used to denote total failure, akin to pear-shapedness. i.e. It was all going great up until the kebab van. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) L.S.D A sort of nick name for Jon Ellis. [Origin Tim or John, or maybe even Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Ladies and Gentlemen... An introduction... See Your friend and mine for example of use. [Origin all over the place, note high use in early American news broadcasts] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Your friend and mine... | Laterz Ladz! Robs loud comment upon leaving the house. [Origin Rob] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Liaise Just a generally good word. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Little boy Not to be said to Colin. Ever. [Origin Colin/John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Lying The frequently used art of passing off an incorrect fact as a true one. This can be assisted or hindered by various phrases, which may come before or after the lie in question- see references for more details... Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | It's true | Magic John One of a few nicknames for John, only really used by Simon and Andy. Note that the inclusion of this in this phrasebook is total self-glorification. [Origin Andy] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Man of the moment Someone who has managed to do something good, especially something his/her friends couldn't do, for example, removing a poster from a wall. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Merci beaucoup monsieur | Marmalade girl syndrome The phenomenon of seeing someone you don't really know all over the place in the most unlikely of circumstances. However, don't be fooled into thinkinh this is anything significant or good, because it isn't. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Nothing ever bloody happens ever | Marvellous This is just a good word. [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Maxed out To have had too much of something, e.g. food, drink, oddness, barbecues, work, hoovering, talking about kitchen tiles, etc etc [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Melanzanina Italian word meaning ickle egg plant- according to Lorenzo a nice girl that you would happily fuck, which is not as nice as a Cetriolina (obviously). [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Carotina | Merci beaucoup monsieur Said upon a sucessful retrieval of a poster from a wall. Must involve a gordie accent for correct humorous value. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Man of the moment | Metal heaven A situation in which it may be noted that those inclined towards the heavy metal music genre might feel particularly at ease, as it were. [Origin Luisa or one of her mates] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Modify The art of A-team style modification, which can be applied to almost anything, for example picnic tables, hofmeister, black vans and so on. [Origin the A-Team, then Reeves and Mortimer, then Simon and Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Monk on To be really annoyed and sulky. [Origin dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Morning gaylords, you all still gay? The way in which Al woke Simon, Pops, John and Gary up one morning whilst they were staying in his lovely house in Hounslow. [Origin Al] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Morning, darling. Probably what you didn't want to hear first thing in the morning from Blanny. [Origin Blanny] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Morning, satan. Luisa's greeting to Lucy one morning when she looked pretty demonic. [Origin Luisa] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Morose Really, really sad. i.e. That's totally morose. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Tragic | Mr Hock-inz Another alias for John, derived from a scottish bloke who pronounced his name in a slightly odd fashion. [Origin Scottish bloke who pronounced John's name in a slightly odd fashion] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Snitch boy | Much For example, "I had to stay in for a week squeezing infected, stinking puss out of the cat's boil daily, but I'm not bitter...... much." [Origin Russ] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Mullered Something that is obviously quite badly broken. The exact origin of this phrase is a mystery... Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Mullet Funny haircut where it's short on top and long at the bottom- "Cut the sides, don't touch the back". But remember, mullets aren't a physical thing, it's a state of mind- i.e. you have to ASK for them! [Origin loads of people] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) My brain's on fire When one is confused about the day this phrase may be used... [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Nice Said like Hannibal off the A-Team, i.e. an elongated i- niiiiiiiice. [Origin Hannibal] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Nightmare To be said when someone tells someone else about something else. Sarcasm and venim are optional. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | With Venim | No honestly, we are funny Said when drunk to barmaids or other people who are seemingly unimpressed by actions you thought were so comical at the time (for example, covering a table in salt and pepper). This phrase should be repeated, along with it's sister phrase for the correct emphasis. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | No really, we are funny | No Probs The correct response to a call of 'Cheers for that', and should be accompanied with a similar arm raising gesture, however, this one tends to be lower, and more often at right angles with the user's direction of facing. [Origin Simon and Gary] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | I really appreciate that | No really, we are funny To be used in conjunction with "No really we are funny..." Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | No honestly, we are funny | No, we've had a crash love. Tom Rowan explaing to Rachel (drunk), who hadn't quite understood that he'd just crashed the car they were in. [Origin Tom Rowan] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Nobody appreciates your fucking hospitality Al Ian Abbot, cousin of the lead singer of The Beautiful South said this when one of his friends tried to offer some visitors to his delightful home in Hounslow a seat. [Origin Scouse bloke Ian Abbot] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Yea don't get too fat Al | Not even a bloody ewok. The ending statement of Jon Ellis's rather curious analogy about having no girlfriend: It's like your best friend has just got the Millenium Falcon, and all you've got is a snow speeder, or nothing at all in my case... not even a bloody ewok. [Origin Jon Ellis] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Nothing ever bloody happens ever | Nothing ever bloody happens ever A fact to remind yourself when you have false hopes of something happening with a girl. [Origin maybe the Young Ones] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Num to num to num to num to num... Anyone who's not been to an Ali Abdallah lecture hasn't got a chance with this one. [Origin Ali Abdallah] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Really | O-matic To be added onto the end of a name, in a similar vein to esque. For example, Ellis-o-matic would entail all things related to Jon Ellis esq. Including VH-1, bread board complaints and Renault 4s. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Oh Jeremy, do stop this nonsense. Perhaps the last words Michael Portillo ever said on television, after being voted out of parliament, upon realising he didn't have to give a shit about what Paxman was asking him any longer. [Origin Michael Portillo, MP(NOT!)] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Oh look, there's suma-3 The standard comment made when there's a skip outside computer science full of old broken bits of computers and that. [Origin just about everyone] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Oh, behave! Classic Austin Powers quote. [Origin Austin Powers] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) OhAye! Said in moments of joy and surprise, potentially followed by a statement of fact of the following format: "OhAye! You know he owes me a beer!". [Origin Tim, or one of his Blackpool mates p'raps] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) One-nine The start of a whole new numbering system. No longer: A hundred and sixty Now: The one-six-zero. [Origin CB radio] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Don't clog up the One-Nine! | Ooh, She's nice... A phrase used increasingly regularly by John and Lorenzo. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Pap Like crap. Note however, a system of scaling of the word pap, adhering to a rough pattern as follows: - A bit pap (25%) - Pap (60%) - Utter pap (90%) Where the word originally came from, no-one really knows. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Pies No-one really knows what it is about pies. They just are. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Piles of gravel The generic, yet bizarre term for any action performed solely to try and get attention from a member of the opposite sex, despite not being at all interested in it yourself. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Polarize To move things around in a room so they are not how they are supposed to be in an attempt to worry someone. [Origin Rob] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Porca Madonna Another Italian blasphemy. SAid when you're just giving up. (Notice the inflection) [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Dio Merda | Portion Term used by Colin (and co) to describe, um, well, you know. [Origin Colin or perhaps his mates] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Precious To be said about an event and/or thing that is perceived as cute, possibly with some sarcasm... [Origin Luisa] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Probability Processing Unit The Probability Processing Unit, or PPU for short, is an inbuilt feature of the John Hawkins model of humanoid, allowing for greater ability at betting which may well lead to increased income. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Quite great i.e. not bad. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Ragana The absolute opposite to Cetriolina in Italian, meaning the most foul thing ever seen on two legs. (Usually applied to women). [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Verro | Random Not any sense to it. [Origin Dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Senseless / senselessly | Really Quite clearly one of Ali's favourite words, as you really can see. Other old favourites include clearly, num, pipeline, curry (not in the culinary sense), colleague, buffer, choc, coin, to, log, n, x, is, at, the, can, I, see, you, next, week, instead, and oesophagus, although the last one may well have been falsified. [Origin Ali Abdallah] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Clearly | Recursion I'm sorry, I really am so sorry. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Recursion | Repent your sins If you've been bad you probably need to do this, especially if you've been rude to Chiara. [Origin Chiara] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Rob-lan-G-AH Robs odd slogan type thing. [Origin Gary, maybe] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Rub it in why don't you What Jon Ellis might say were you to describe to him: A> How good your room is, and/or B> Exactly what you did last night, assuming it was something good. [Origin Jon Ellis] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Rude To indicate something as being not entirely fair play or polite, one might use this word. e.g. "He just told her to fuck off and die in a hole - That's a bit rude." [Origin Dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Sack off To not bother doing a particular activity. For example, to sack off going out would mean to stay in. Sacking off is an artform particularly well mastered by students. [Origin Tim, perhaps] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Slack off | Sack off sacking off A very complex form of sacking off, only to be attempted by the experienced professional. Don't be fooled into thinking this actually entials doing anything, as the correct interpretation is to not bother not being bothered about not bothering to be bothered. Easy really. [Origin Simon and John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Slack off | Salad, chips? The man in Medina asking what you want. [Origin the Man in Medina] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Chili sauce and everyfing? | Saps your will to live. Often heard said about Wetherspoons pubs. [Origin almost anyone who's ever been in one] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Epicentre of Banality. | Scale A much more efficient way of communication. Imagine this scenario. - How hungry are you? - Average. Information conveyed here is minimal. A much better approach would be. - Hunger scale? - About 5. Generally scales are out of 10. Other common scales include drunk scale, irritation scale, bored scale and tiredness scale. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Scale (Gary) | Scale (Gary) The scale system used by Gary previous to standardization. Here 0 is neutral, and 10 is the maximum. So, 0 on the hunger scale is simply not hungry, whereas 10 is dying of starvation. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Scale (Standard) | Scale (Simon/John) Here 0 and 10 were extremes, and 5 neutral. Thus on the hunger scale, 0 would be dying of gluttony, 5 would be neither hungry nor not, and 10 would by dying of starvation. Note the new standard, making this scaling system obsolete. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Scale (Standard) | Scale (Standard) The new standardised scale system ranges from -10 to +10, each representing an extreme, and 0 being neutral. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Scale | Scorchio! What that woman who does the weather on Channel neuf says. [Origin The Fast Show] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Scuse me... are you stupid? Said originally by one of our lively Jamaican neighbours to some idiot. To be used in any argument where the other person appears not to be paying any attention to what you're saying. Must be repeated and used with a hint of the carribean for full effect. [Origin Jamaican bloke next door] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Secretly... Said preceedin a fact that probably isn't a secret... for example: Secretly, I absolutely love lettuce. And so on. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Self Clearing? My plate's not budged an inch. Rob's standard comment every time he goes into the cedar room. [Origin Rob] Added Wednesday, April 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Selfish To be selfish entails doing work that your friends aren't doing, when they clearly should be. [Origin Tim and John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Senseless / senselessly The aim of the game here is to add this to almost any other word. For example, getting senselessly drunk, senselessly cooking a massive vat of chilli, senselessly going up stairs and so on. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Sensors indicate... To be prefixed to an action, and possibly combined with other words... For example: Sensors indicate Simon has become senselessly umanageable. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Unmanageable | Set it up A request for, er, something to be set up. [Origin Simon and co] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Shall we put the cat on? Standard barbeque phrase. [Origin anyone who's ever been to a barbeque] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Barbeque | Shoddy I.e. not particularly good- badly made. Said somewhat mistakenly by Tom about things made by John. [Origin Unknown] Added Wednesday, April 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Shooting The art of taking whole quantities of spirits down in one swift go. [Origin dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Shut up it's the seventh Tim rather snappily correcting John about the date. John was however right. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Shut yer festering gob yer tit Speaks for itself really. [Origin Monty Python] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Slack off An optional variation to sack off. It is unsure which was derived from the other, however this is arbitrary, and we're not going to look at this. [Origin Dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Dis is arbitary, we're not going to look at dis. | Snitch boy Perhaps the least liked by John of all nicknames he has. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Mr Hock-inz | So Mr Bond... The chant of many an evil woman in James Bond. [Origin Chiara, via Tim and Ian Fleming] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) So you didn't pull then Perhaps the most annoying thing ever. Said by one of your house mates after you've been out for a night, but they blatantly haven't, and have spent the whole night being shit, just like every other night for them. [Origin Chris ALWYN Challacombe] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | When was the last time you pulled? | Soft Peat A substance in which things with which one has become sick are to be buried in. [Origin Andy G] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Sooooouuuunds ODD A remark on something sounding odd. To be replied to with IS Odd. Also possible: - Sounds Horrid (IS Horrid) [Origin Al Hall] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Stephen Hawking Al Hall's bizarre name for John. [Origin Al Hall] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Mr Hock-inz | Stubby Any beer in small bottles, hence the name- stubby. One particular example is of course a gotcha. [Origin John, who almost certainly heard it off someone else first] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Gotcha | Stuffissimo A kind of anglo-italian hybrid phrase whose literal translation is "Very stuff". [Origin Chiara/John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Tart For example, Paul Brown esq. [Origin Bakewell's, or perhaps Mr Kipling, I just don't know, and to be honest, I'm really not that bothered] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Thank god they've started cloning sheep... Something Phil Kay said which was really funny. [Origin Phil Kay] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) That was really dumb. Said originally by Lucy (5 years old), when John offered Simon's friend Charlie a cup of tea. [Origin Ickle Lucy] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) That would be... A means of prolonging an otherwise very short answer, such as yes or no. Especially when something is a little obvious. Has, in the past been combined with 'In the region of', and 'Cheers for that', for those particularly keen on circumlocution. [Origin Chandler on Friends, via Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) The moon on a stick As in "You want the moon on a stick", meaning you want absolutely everything, or something particularly unobtainable, or actually that you do in fact want a kind of lunar lollipop. [Origin Lee and Herring] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Then it prints out 10 The classic example of someone trying to impress someone else with a program they've written, even though it appears to do very little whatsoever. [Origin Tim and John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) There goes the... Said when something breaks, to be used in conjunction with Damn...'s out. Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Damn...'s out | There really isn't any point to your life is there? Tim's Dad's reply after tasting John's Tofu dish in a chinese restaurant in chinatown, London. [Origin Tim's Dad, unsurprisingly not a member of the Vegetarian society] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) There will be a short delay... Said when people are waiting for you, but there is some action you must perform first. For example, just before going on a daytrip, and you need to go to the toilet, you might say "There will be a short delay whilst I go to the toliet"... and so on. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) They're still in the buffer (Followed by a self satisfied grin) Ali's little nerdy joke regarding why he hadn't yet received a load of reports. [Origin Ali Abdallah] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Through the medium of... A specification for a means of demonstration, in a similar vein to "In the style of...". For example: Depict the confusion of arabs buying seagulls through the medium of dance. [Origin Vic Reeves] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | In the style of... | TM The art of putting the correct copyright/trademark/registered observance after a brand/company name for comedy affect. [Origin Jill] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Um Bongo ® | Tony "Mullet" Little The man who, according to Matt, Nick and Andy, said: "As far as I'm concerned this is the only abdominal product you'll ever need." [Origin dodgy bloke seen late at night on SKY selling at least two different abdominal products AND sporting a mullet] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Mullet | Too drunk to fuck Means exactly what it says, but can be broadened to indicate a general state of non-sobriety. [Origin, a song by the Dead Kennedys... I think] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Tool An insult. [Origin Tim, sort of] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Top Something much, much better than something crap. May also be used in conjunction with other words (see references). Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Top scran | Top banana Indicating an event or thing is indeed very good, possibly accompanied by some enthusiatic vertical positioning of the polex (i.e. sticking your thumb up). [Origin Rob] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Top scran Original a liverpudlian term for good food, however, nationwide coverage has seen this become yet another term for a good thing/event. [Origin Liverpool, via Jason] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Top | Torn To have dropped something you perhaps shouldn't have. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Tottles tottles tottles oooooohhh tottles A song to be found about a bear called Tottles. This single-handedly makes the whole of the internet worthwhile. [Origin Jon Bowen] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Tragic Word used by some people to describe a state beyond sadness. Note this would actually be a good name for a band as well (as suggested by Rhiannon) [Origin Unknown, but Rhiannon, sort of] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Morose | Trotolina Amorosa... Apparently something nice to say to an italian girl. Should be followed by doos and dahs, abiding the strict ruling of zwei mal DOO und drei mail DAH. The phrase has some releveance to spinning tops, and may have been from a song. [Origin Chiara] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Um Bongo ® A blended fruit juice drink enriched with vitamin C. Bears the slogan: "So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle, they all prefer the sunny, funny one they call UM BONGO". A classic example of a box drink. [Origin Libby's] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Box drink | Uncultivated beard Italian term for untrimmed beard. [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Unknown A bit nerdy, to be said as a one word reply when something isn't known. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Unmanageable Said about anything or anyone that appears to have got out of control, originally said when Raj was drinking cocktails from Jugs and throwing ice cubes at the staff in the union. Many other people can be described as this state when overly happy or pissed. Warning: This word itself can soon get unmanageable. [Origin Simon and John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) V Abbreviation for very, to be used before words like poor, odd, blatant and so on. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Very poor | Verro Another Italian word, whose origin lies in pig farming, and means an utterly foul being, either male or female. [Origin Lorenzo] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Ragana | Very poor An observation that something is indeed not of a very high quality. For correct effect, the poor should be pronounced something like poh-er. [Origin Vic Reeves] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Vi is just mad You'd have to be nerdy to understand this I'm afraid, but it was really funny, honest. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) We need women immediately. They are nice. Part of Simon's famed presentation on women. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Well basically you're fucked Said by Gerard McKee to indicate the state of affairs is none too rosy. Must be said in an irish accent for full affect (i.e. 'Whale basiclee ya foct'). [Origin Gerard McKee] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Well fuck off then. Probably not the best thing to say to a bouncer, but it has to be done. [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) What do you do - roll them up? Tim's rather unpleasant reply to when Laura said exam papers had replaced men in her life. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, April 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) What everyone's now calling... A way of making some thing/event sound much grnader than it in fact is, and give it a false edge of media hype. For example: "Welcome to what everyone's now calling the Cemetery Junction Bus Stop". [Origin Collins and Mahoney] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) What have you ever done ever? To be said to Jon Ellis when he starts criticising. [Origin John] Added Friday, May 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Whats that one then?? Originally said when Tom jumped into a fire, then over a wall, which seemed a bit odd. [Origin Gary] Added Wednesday, April 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Alright there! | When was the last time you pulled? The ideal retort to, "So you didn't pull then?". [Origin John] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | So you didn't pull then | Whilst drunk To be appended to the end of any activity that took place in a state of non-sobriety, as part explanation and part justification for the act in question. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Why have you got a password on your BIOS? The start of what turned out to be the most pointless argument ever in history. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Come on, reset my BIOS! | Why Monsieur... Can be used in almost any situation ever, and probably has been. It must take the format: "Why Monsieur," (optional name) "wiz zese" (some items) "you're really spoiling us...". For example, "Why Monsieur Watson, wiz zese pointless emails you're really spoiling us"... [Origin Ferrero Rocher plus Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Merci beaucoup monsieur | Why-Aye A term to help people who have difficulty with accents pretend to be geordie. [Origin Jimmy Nails or something] Added Wednesday, April 29, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Will you glass me in the shins Gary's rather odd response to an item on "Sex Down Under", which is on Living, a channel otherwise quite painfully dull. [Origin Gary] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) With Fervour To do something like really enthusiastically. To be used, possibly with get one down ya. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Get one down ya | With Force Optional variation on With Venim. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | With Fervour | With Venim To do something with enthusiasm and/or a slightly unpleasant edge. The i in venim is essential, and should under no circumstances be pronounced as an o. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Woooh-woooh-wooh Excitement upon receiving new merchandise, or in fact at any other event. Must include the appropriate arm motion, as with many of Simon's other prhases. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Yea don't get too fat Al Simon said this upon leaving the residence of Al, Pops, Ian Abbot and the other arbitary bloke in Hounslow. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Yea....Yea Used to announce disinterest in someone when they're like really enthusiastically going on about something that you're not at all interested in and that... [Origin Simon] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Yeeeaaaaa Said to denote something really obvious. For example: Person A: so you're just going to sit around and get drunk then. Person B: Yeeeeaaaaa! Needs to be pronounced as though nothing else could possibly be the case, whilst at the same time building in some questioning intonation. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Yellow Pages. A quality video made by Simon and co, which was just like loads of stuff edited together and that. Included a variety of cool phrases, and the spectacle of Gary eating 4 whole pies. Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | How many you having? | Yikes Apparently, the very top layer of milk after settling has occured, even on top of cream... [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) You can't take your tie off, because it's company policy. More fuel for Nick's apparent hatred of being a business man. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Brass parrot | You had to be there A way of admitting that a funny story you just told was in fact totally shit and/or you are just no good at relaying such anecdotes. Avoid any story that you predict may end with this. [Origin dunno] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) You look like Black Beauty What Lucy said to Laura, implying some horse-like nature, doubly funny given Lucy's like 5 years old and that. [Origin Ickle Lucy] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) You lot are computer scientists... URRRRR! Said by Evil Jane, before returning to Hades for the weekend. [Origin Evil Jane, possibly a relative of Evil Alice] Added Saturday, June 6, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | You lot really need girlfriends | You lot really need girlfriends Used if you are a girl and are in the company of lots of men and have a desire to make them really annoyed. Then you should go and eat some pies or something. [Origin Alice] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | You lot are computer scientists... URRRRR! | You love it A blatant attempt at persuading someone they like something. Other variations are possible, such as he loves it, and I love it. As with many other Nickisms, a geordie accent may well help, but is not in this case totally essential. [Origin Nick] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) You tell us Chris The zoom on this thing is senseless, I mean, I can zoom in to this tomato ketchup bottle so it takes up the whole screen... whats the point in that?? - You tell us Chris. [Origin Tim, whilst filming the Radstock Aliens film] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) You tool To be appended to the end of a criticism or personal attack. [Origin Simon and Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) You're just shit A concise, yet effective insult, that bears some very vague reference to ability at playing Board Games. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | It's just shit | You're just showing yourself up. Said originally by Simon to gary during a rather intense argument. [Origin Simon] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Why have you got a password on your BIOS? | You're really ace. Simple, but effective. [Origin Tim] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) Your blood on the pavement. Andy G being rather uncharacteristically threatening (whilst drunk). [Origin Andy G] Added Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Whilst drunk | Your friend and mine... A way of introducing someone or something, can be combined with "Ladies and Gentlemen" for fuller effect. For example: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing, your friend and mine... the upright hoover!! [Origin Tim] N.B. Trivia fansmay be interested that this was the 200th phrases entered... wooh-woooh-wooohwoooh Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Ladies and Gentlemen... | Your mum phoned me up this morning and told me... A very, very poor way of trying to persuade someone to do something, by way of attempting to fool them into thinking it is their mother's wishes. For example: "Your mum phoned me up this morning and told me you had to buy me a drink.". This will almost always be a barefaced lie. (Trivia fans may be interested that this is in fact the 100th phrase). Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT) See Also: | Very poor | Yummie! Shrieked by people to frustrate Lorenzo. (Beyond imagination). Deadly if joined with the sound of sloppy eating. [Origin Joycie] Added Wednesday, January 1, 1997 at 12:00:00 (GMT)