Fantasy Football Preview

Posted on 2006/08/08 17:48:37 (August 2006).

I'm considering blogging only on useful stuff. Fantasy Football is useful. I don't want to brag...but much like Buddy Holly in the sketch from The Kids in the Hall, I'm on top of the world. I've got my whole life before me. I've won fantasy football three years in a row. Who knows...how many more league titles I'll win? Who knows...how many points I'll rack up this season? I do. Here are my draftees...

BUSINESS TIME
I chose the name Business Time after two straight seasons as the "poofters", a team that dominated the league both seasons, because I wanted to let people know that I wasn't about to screw around and rest on my laurels. Or hyacinths.

QB
I selected two similar players at QB: black, "running" QBs who had poor fantasy seasons last year. Why? To be quite honest, I think Atlanta is going to have its most productive season offensively in quite some time so Michael Vick is a stellar choice. Aaron Brooks, my backup, could be even more productive. He has a solid running game, a top 5 WR, and plenty of other weapons, including Justin Fargas and Lamont Jordan out of the backfield. Both QBs are pretty average overall, so I don't really gain anything at this position.

RB
I had to take Clinton Portis because all signs point toward a huge season. I dislike Portis. Still, I think he'll do well. I then backed up Portis with Tatum Bell who could either start and have a huge season...or be 3rd string. It's a gamble. I would say that much of my success in FFB has come from shrewd plays that pay off down the line. I stored Ricky Williams on my bench last year knowing that when he returned, he would be the BEST RB in the league. He did not disappoint. I took that route earlier this season, grabbing Dominic Rhodes and Laurence Maroney. Rhodes SHOULD start, should put up big numbers, but Maroney is a guy who will take over for Dillon at some point. Dillon is old, over the hill. Maroney could be a stud in the making. His team around him is so good he'll get plenty of looks and rushes. I'm very pleased with RB position...though many wouldn't be.

WR
Chad Johnson is probably the #2 WR in the league. And he's mine. I then added Javon Walker, who returns from an injury as the starting WR in Denver. He's solid, but won't put up numbers like he did pre-injury. I back up my WRs with two vets: Keyshawn Johnson and Joe Horn. Both are good for at least 700 yards, 6 scores. Solid numbers for backups. Walker is my only question mark.

TE
I took the #1 TE for the second straight season. Antonio Gates has a new QB, but he also has a ridiculous running game. He'll thrive again, putting up numbers better than most WR. I backed him up with another top 10 TE, Chris Cooley. Cooley is either the best backup in the league or can be packaged to get me a better WR later on.

PK
I took a Kicker before anyone else. Why? Vinatieri is the best. By a lot. I back him with Baltimore's Stover (?). Both are top 10 kickers. I win again.

Def
I took a defense before anyone else. While they scrambled for one of the thirty RBs who are identical, I picked up the D that stands head and shoulders above the rest: Chicago. Huge pickup. I then back them with Denver's D, which is probably 10-12th best in the league. I win again.

Overall
My team is made to play over the long haul. I have solid, solid bench players, some fantastic starters, and no CLEAR weaknesses. I predict a playoff berth again, with a respectable chanc of the fourpeat.

BUTT PASTORS
I chose the name "Butt Pastors" after two straight seasons as "Whoozle Wuzzle", a team that pre-dominated the league the first season, because I wanted one person to get an inside reference spun as a homosexual double entendre. Or hyacinths.

DRAFTEES
I picked* men of various sizes and colors, all of whom have never pondered my existence.

Overall
My team is made to maximize my laziness over the long haul. I have some, some bench players, a few chosen starters, and no SELF-CONTRADICTORY weaknesses. I predict a full season again, with a respectable chanc of an automatic playoff berth.

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*By 'picked' I mean let the pre-selected rankings automatically dictate my team.

Posted by Sean at 2006/08/08 18:14:30.

Love it, Sean. Love it. We couldn't tell who was and wasn't at the live draft. Some people were just silent. I think you, crkkos, and my one bro were the only guys not there. But maybe that Watkins fellow wasn't either. Dunno.

Laurels. Hyacinths. It's from myth class...and I loved your inside joke. Butt Pastors is incredibly funny. No, really it is.

Sean, do you like reading bad poetry/short stories?

Posted by Travis at 2006/08/08 19:04:43.

I checked out the league Web site on Monday, and while the page loaded I kicked myself as I remembered the draft was the day before. I kept reminding myself on Friday, too. I probably wouldn't have made different selections, but I missed out on some golden chat time.

I do like reading bad poetry/short stories. Know anyone who writes in this slashed medium?

Posted by Sean at 2006/08/09 17:32:05.

Sean: You sure did miss out on some "golden" chat time. The whole draft only took 40 minutes, which was pretty remarkable for 16 rounds and 10 GMs. There was some good-natured ribbing (most was intended for her pleasure). Perhaps the most intriguing pick was a 1st rounder spent on Eli Manning. I laughed, thinking it a mistake. It turns out that it was a mistake...but not as I'd intended. My brother is convinced that Eli will have the biggest fantasy seasons for a QB.

It just so happens that I write in the aforementioned medium. Now I'm a bit cowardly, however, and may not reveal my recent opus to you. Let me think about it.

Posted by Travis at 2006/08/09 18:19:05.

Don't be shy... ask yourself, "WWLD"?

Even if I thought Eli's going to break out this year, I'd still wait until a later round to pick him up. Surely he would've been available in the 2nd round, at least.

Posted by Sean at 2006/08/09 21:19:02.

Fuck off.

Posted by Travis at 2006/10/20 05:38:42.

hi all. nice blog. its very ineresting article.

Posted by robert at 2007/03/18 16:54:15.

Thank you.

Posted by Papaykk at 2007/06/30 03:43:13.

fo103.txt;3;6

Posted by MWZsAbMvK at 2008/07/25 02:03:59.

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