"And your name is?".... - Monday 14th November 2005

Posted on 2005/11/14 16:36:01 (November 2005).

Read more to understand what the following sentences have to do with today's acoounts:

Chinese social games
"Yes!! I know! I saw a mummy once!"
[....] a glimpse of sweetness and romanticism to it... A GLIMPSE!
[....] to down this shit in one
I am alright with drinking, but [....]
[....] pretty knackered already [....]


Have fun!


------------------------- The Full Story

The day started pretty badly, lots of appointments to do, running up and down Taipei with Jimmy (the agent), and two suitcases full of fabric.
By the end of it I was pretty knackered already, and I wanted to go to the hotel asap.
Unfortunately, by the way business is pressed on here in Taipei, and in China in general, I had to go to a dinner with Jimmy and Richard (Jimmy's boss), in a Taipei-style cusine place.
All in all the food was good, and another guy joined us, not sure what is his name, but he's into fabrics as well.
This is when the evening fun started.

First of all there are four of us, not a lot of people, but we were given a table for twelve (see picture, Me, Jimmy and Richard)! It was quite hard to tell the person that took the photo to get as much table as possible, it was really rather huge.

During the dinner, OF COURSE, we had to drink.
I am alright with drinking, but when I am among friends, or at least when I can have a glimpse of conversation, in this case I couldn't understand (as usual) a word that was uttered, and although I like my agents a lot, that's a bit of turn down. Problem is that they are really good at realizing it, so every ten minutes they challenged me at a "bottoms up" contest (namely CAMPE' in Chinese), just to keep me awake (and drunk).

At the end of the dinner I told Jimmy (the only English speaker there), that maybe it was better if I went back to the hotel.

NO WAY.

I had to go to this guy's place first so that he could show me some pictures of Bonsai trees. As a matter of fact he works with Japanese companies and he was told that I spoke Japanese therefore the Bonsai thing...

ANYWAY...

I stated (strongly this time) my will and told my agent that it was really time to go back for me, so what do they organized for me? A Taxi?Naaaaaaa...

KARAOKE!!

But not the Japanese style (You sing in a room with your friends), Chinese style!! All together with other people in a big room!!

The set of stairs leading to this Karaoke bar was already scummy and too steep. The place itself stank of old Taiwanese bar from the 50s, the tables, bar, couches, chairs, it seemed to enter one of those movies about Asia of 30 years ago, plastic covered floor, almost totale darkenss, fake wooden walls, red banners everywhere and plastic covered sofas, not to mention the crap old-style Chinese music..

I soon realized that this was not NORMAL Karaoke, but instead a SEMI-BROTHEL with all the bells and whistles!

In a sec we are sitting at the main table and I get people mixing tomato juice and beer, forcing me to down this shit in one.
At this point a couple of ladies sit next to me, and try to have a conversation in a proto-English language that I can barely understand. they keep inviting me to drink while they barely touch alcohol, then after a bit a new woman comes along and all start again.
The agents and friends go ballistic, and start to grope the ladies, pretend to fall asleep on their shoulders (this must be a very Chinese thing, it has a glimpse of sweetness and romanticism to it... A GLIMPSE!), some of them pretend to fall asleep on their lap!

People start singing and keep drinking, people shout, drink, smile, laugh, drink, dance and drink again.In 60 minutes we got through three 6packers of beer! (thanks God I lived in England! What a good training that was! See effects on the people at the table though...)

One of the problems was that this place not only had furniture from 30 years ago, but also the entertaining staff (let's call it this way) was quite, how do you say.... OLD! No surprise there as my agents and their friends are 45/55 so no shame to go with a 38/40 years old woman.Problem is that I am 30 for God'sake!

Here the funny part begins. Of course I had no intention of having any type of direct contact with these ladies, nor I wanted to sing in front of an horny bunch of Chinese. During the 60 minutes that I managed to last in that place I have had the most amusing conversation ever, where the ladies or some Chinese friends (more joined during the stay) tried to speak to me in a language that I have troubles defining.
I was replying with sentences like "Oh yes, I though that Mars was intersecting the Moon!(convenience laughter)" or "Yes!! I know! I saw a mummy once!".

In these cases of course you have to pretend to understand and they play much of the same game, so you then ask some totally pointless questions ("Ah! What is your NAME?... NAME, you know?" or "Nice beer! Is it from Taiwan?"), to a person that it's clear cannot understand the language and so on.

They eventually got me to sing a Japanese song, and I have witnessed to a couple of "Chinese social games" (see picture), that someone tried to explain but the explanation didn't make sense at all!

I could not endure the boredom and general shitness of the place, so I force Jimmy to get me a Taxi, and I left them to their oblivion of sex and alcohol.

This has been a truly remarkable experience, one of those evenings that you are going to brag about with your mates adding funny totally made up details. I am glad that I lived long enough to have it, but next time we go to the "young ladies karaoke"!!

Mmmmmm... I must say I'm disappointed. I expected something like you being dragged in the middle of a decadent orgy with young gorgeous asiatic 'masseuses'.

Posted by Sheri at 2005/11/14 17:12:08.

thanks to God, they were OLD ladies...otherwise maybe you would had fun.....

I will have something to say about next karaoke with youg pretty girls...:)))

Posted by Marta at 2005/11/14 18:52:14.

Anyway :I think that you lived a remarkable experience!!!!

Posted by Marta at 2005/11/14 18:56:31.

Marta. I'm so sorry. You are THE Marta from Loxe's pictures. Being slow-minded, it took me a while to get it ! Most of my (silly) comments are a bit out of place. I hope I do not offend you. I didn't know you were actually reading Loxe's stuff...!

Posted by Sheri at 2005/11/14 19:15:27.

Great stuff Lox!
That reminds me of an old Chinese proverb: "what happens in the brothel stays in the brothel."
Just think about how much experience you have missed out on.

Posted by dsp at 2005/11/14 19:31:57.

Excellent experience, Lox! I have to add that I now realise how abolutely "Cool" you are under pressure! Well, I certainly hope you get a significant order to take home with you :)

Posted by Nigel at 2005/11/14 19:54:11.

Marta: Maybe I am not going to post that one.. :)

Sheri: Do not worry, even if some of my family or grilfriends read the site I wouldn't want you guys to change the things that you post. I have a Blog to write about how I feel, with no particular chains, so the comments have to be the same.

Dsp: AH! Didn't know that one, but I wouldn't have fancied a night out with thoose derelicts!

Nigel: Let's see, so far I am bringing back a good chance to be fired and many quality claims... :(

Posted by Lox at 2005/11/15 01:32:29.

This info is the catÂ’s pmaajas!

Posted by Dolley at 2011/06/22 15:36:41.

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